Page 25 of To Crave Truly

I rubbed the spot above my heart on my chest. The ache that sat there pining for her was just getting worse. I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t interested in food. I couldn’t even look at Elissa. She just stared at me and there was this gaping chasm between us. I wouldn’t talk about it and it was just festering, lingering between us and growing like a parasite. It was killing everything that was good between us leaving nothing but this empty carcass behind. I was becoming a hollow shell of who I used to be.

Cassian looked and me and shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” I growled. “Doesn’t mean I can do anything about it.” Why didn’t he get that? Did he think I could just upend decades of planning because I was in love with someone else. In the grand schemes of my father, that was insignificant.

“You should just tell Octavius to fuck off.”

I snorted. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Octavius Crowe was not someone you told to ‘fuck off’. If I said that to my father, he’d probably cut out my tongue and make me eat it. That was just the kind of guy he was.

“It’s not fair on you or Elissa. You need to tell him—”

“I know!”

“It’s killing you, Fenris. Can’t you see that?”

I stormed away from him. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know and it just hurt to see how he could see how badly not being with Lori was affecting me. Fuck, I probably looked like death warmed up.

“Hey!” Cassian grabbed my arm and halted me to a stop. I pushed at him, and he stumbled back a few paces.

“Leave me alone.” I walked away again.

“Pretty hard to do when we’re on patrol together.”

“Go away, Cassian.”

His hands slammed into my back. “Make me.”

Wind whipped around me as I used my magic to call it to me. I thrust my hands forwards and watched in smug satisfaction as Cassian was thrown from his feet into the tree behind him. He jumped to his feet, a feral grin on his face. Why did this guy love pushing buttons so much?

He charged at me, midnight scales erupting on his skin as he drew from the strength of his dragon.

“Come on, Fenris. Let it out!” He slammed his hands into my chest and anger welled within me.

I roared as I drew my magic from the earth, sending dirt in Cassian’s direction, blocking his next attack. He laughed, spurring me on. Lightning crackled in the air as my anger swirled in my gut. I was going to fry the bastard, zap him with millions of volts of electricity and see if his ice dragon could thaw that motherf—

Pain sliced through my midriff.

“Fenris!”

I looked down and saw blood pooling around an arrow. I’d been shot. Jesus fuck, that hurt. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground.

The wind rippled around me as Cassian changed into his dragon and went after whatever it was that had attacked us. A demon probably. We’d been skirting the boundaries of the Conclave and they were getting bold. Testing our defences. I’d been stupid enough to let Cassian distract me and now…

I fell to my side, the smell of dirt drifting around me. I buried my fingers in the soil while Cassian roared overhead, the occasional ripple in the wind as his wings flapped above me.

Maybe this was better. Maybe dying would put things right. Coldness began to seep into my bones, and I was so tired. So very…

“Fenris!”

Someone slapped my face.

“Fenris! Don’t you die on me, asshole.”

I groaned. Hands roamed my body. Pushed on my abdomen.

“This is going to hurt.”

“Wh- what?”

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