Page 13 of To Crave Truly

“Iveri is dead to me,” he replied coldly. I wasn’t sure I believed that for a second. From what I learned from Iveri, they had unfinished business. Something had happened between the two of them and, while I didn’t know all the details, I could sense that there was still a deep pain running through her when she thought about Iver.

Mordecai pursed his lips and tapped his chin in thought. “I shall think about it. Now, Lori, I suppose you want to go and heal your vampire.”

Hope sprang to life in my chest immediately followed by revulsion. In order to heal Jasper, I’d need to feed. And that meant drinking from Mordecai. I was sure he enjoyed the sick satisfaction of making me squirm. I could sense in my gut that I didn’t have enough blood to give Jasper in order to heal his wounds. It was strange that I instinctively knew that, like how I’d known where to find Mordecai, and I suddenly wondered how much of my vampire instincts were ingrained in my new genetic make-up. There was so much I had to learn, and I really didn’t want to have to learn it from Mordecai.

“I will leave you to your feeding session. I know how they can get between vampires.” Iver waggled his eyebrows as he left the room and my stomach churned. He was right. It was the most delicious, sensual thing ever. And I hated that I needed to take it from Mordecai.

“How long does the first thirst last?” I asked.

“It varies from vampire to vampire and quite often depends on how strong the sire is. The stronger the sire, the longer the thirst.” Go figure. “I haven’t sired anyone for a very long time, but the first thirst of my last progeny lasted nearly a decade.”

“A decade?!” There was no way I was letting this guy live that long. I didn’t care that I couldn’t kill him myself, I would find a way and I would be rid of him.

“I don’t think yours will be quite that long. You’re a powerful creature and I think you will adapt a lot sooner than that. More’s the pity.” He shook his head sadly, but the motion was so small that I almost missed it. I wonder what that was about? I wasn’t given a chance to think about it because the next second, Mordecai was patting his thigh. “Come on, little one. Let’s get you well fed so you can save your vampire.”

The thought of sitting in his lap while feeding from him made me nauseous. I didn’t want to do this, but I’d already discovered that my body wouldn’t take sustenance from anyone else.

“Can’t we do this standing?” I pleaded.

“But where’s the fun in that?” he replied with a wicked smirk. “Besides, I want to be comfortable and standing up just makes it awkward. You’re reaching up and I’m reaching down and it’s just easier if we sit. Come on. I promise I won’t touch you unless you ask me too. Cross my heart.” He traced an ‘X’ over his chest, and I rolled my eyes at him. He seemed sincere and that was actually a decent thing for him to promise.

Could I trust him?

Could I trust myself?

Only one way to find out.

I strode over to him and sat on his lap like he asked me to, straddling his thighs. He slowly raised his hands in front of me and placed them on the arms of the chair, showing me that he was going to keep his promise. Then he tipped his head to one side and exposed his neck for me. I leant in. The scent of the rich blood calling to me and making my fangs appear. I had a sudden thought: how often would Mordecai make himself vulnerable like this? I couldn’t imagine him putting himself at anyone’s mercy. There was something a little intoxicating about being able to have someone this powerful, completely submit like this, even if it was for a moment. It wasn’t like I could really do anything. I wouldn’t be able to rip his throat out. Stupid siring laws. But I couldn’t deny the thrill that zipped up my spine at the feel of him beneath me.

What was wrong with me?

I traced my nose up the length of his neck, instinctively finding the oxygen rich blood that would give me the most satisfaction. As I pressed my lips to his throat, I felt him swallow.

“Little one,” he whispered. “Stop torturing me, or I’m going to think you enjoy this.”

That comment spurred me into action. There was no way I wanted him to think that.

Was there?

I sank my fangs into his neck and let his blood fill my mouth. Sweet Lord. I didn’t think I would ever get tired of that taste. It was pure fucking ecstasy.

Mordecai moaned and it was a deep rumble that reverberated in his chest. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head further to the side to give me better access. I drank deeply, knowing I needed to get as much blood as I could to heal Jasper. I just had to hope he was holding on. I sent up a silent prayer. Please wait for me.

I could feel the blood trickling down my chin as I pulled more blood into my mouth, swallowing over and over again. True to his word, Mordecai kept his hands firmly on the arms of the chair. The wood splintered under his grip as he fought to keep his hands away from me. A part of me was struggling with acknowledging that he was doing something nice. I wanted to outright hate him, but right now, he was being a gentleman. Giving me what I needed to heal Jasper without taking anything from me. It was confusing, to say the least.

My body hummed as I consumed him, and my desire started to rise. I hated that I wanted this. That I wanted him. I wish I could blame it all on primal vampire instincts, but I knew it ran deeper than that. Something about Mordecai called to me, and, as I sat there drinking his blood, I knew I needed to figure out exactly what I was going to do about that.

Right now, though, I was running on pure goddamn need, and that was not good.

“Pull back, Lori. Or I will have to touch you.”

I didn’t want that, did I? God, this was all so confusing.

Just one more mouthful.

“Lori!”

One more...

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