Page 78 of To Crave Truly

He smiled, his eyes warm and kind. “We’ve met before.”

“Why don’t I remember you?”

“I created it that way. I’m supposed to be a construct, something for everyone. If I had a face that everyone knew, it wouldn’t be the same.” He chuckled and patted the seat next to him. “We have some things to discuss.”

I eyed the bench warily. What was I doing here? How did I even get here? What was ‘here’?

“You can trust me, Lori.”

As soon as he’d spoken the words, I knew them to be true. There was something pure about them, something honest. So, I sat down.

“We make an odd picture,” I said, looking at him dressed all in white and me in all black.

He laughed at that. “We do indeed.”

The heat of the sun settled on the back of my neck and a pleasant hum left my lips. How long had it been since I’d just been still?

“I’m sorry for they way things have turned out,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Why?”

“My only goal was to right a wrong, but I think I went about it in the wrong way.”

“You’re talking about Lucifer, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” The old man tilted his head back and closed his eyes, taking a moment to enjoy the sun like I was.

“You’re him, aren’t you? The Divine.”

He turned to look at me, his face full of sadness. His mouth was turned down, like it was too much effort to smile. “He was always my favourite, you know. I shouldn’t say that, apparently, I shouldn’t have favourites, but he was my first, and there was an honesty and purity about him that shone as brightly as the sun.” He took a deep breath, and I felt his sorrow as he exhaled. “But he never seemed satisfied. He was always looking for more.”

“So, you cast him out.”

“I had to,” he said with tears in his eyes. “He was challenging the very fabric of my creations; things were starting to unravel so I gave him somewhere he could create. Somewhere he could express himself as he truly wanted to. I never meant for him to feel unwanted, or unloved.”

“He feels rejected,” I said softly. “Some days he feels it keenly, especially when he’s with Michael. He feels unworthy of your love.”

“That’s not the case, Lori. But I am so glad he has your love. I can see it, you know. Here.” He pointed to where the mark sat on my chest.

Something clicked. “This is your magic, isn’t it?”

The old man smiled. “Yes. Only a true soul mate can make a mark like this appear. It was the most powerful and precious gift I could give him.”

“I do love him,” I said. “We had a rocky start but that was Lucifer being Lucifer, I guess. But, despite all his faults, or maybe because of them, I love him.”

The old man’s smile shone brightly, and tears of joy pooled in his eyes. “Thank you. Now, I’m going to give you some advice. I shouldn’t, because it could be upset the order of things, but I need to atone.”

“What do you mean?”

He gripped my hands tightly. “The key to your survival is harmony and balance. You are in three parts. You need to be one. Being a Triune is about balancing those three elements of yourself until you don’t know where one begins or the other ends. Remember that.”

The wind picked up around us. Time was running out. “Wait. What about the scintillam vitae? How do I use it?”

“Ah, the spark of life. It’s the gift only a Triune can wield, and you can gift it to a person only once. It takes power, focus and love, Lori.”

“But how do I—”

“It will come when you need it. Can you give Lucifer something for me?”