Page 9 of Solanum

"You're always so calm and rational," she said, watching my every move. In her black bra and unbuttoned slacks, her taut stomach and petite features drew my attention as always. I tried my hardest not to look at her, but all I could do was see.

"Not always." I lay down on the bed, propping my elbow on the pillow. "I wonder how much jizz is trapped in this mattress."

"Gross! Caroline." Nora flailed her arms, slapping her hands down on her legs. "How am I supposed to sleep now after thinking about that?"

"C'mon." I laughed at her. "You like man cum and woman cum. You should be right at home."

"You're an asshole. That's not even funny." Her sadness rolled to anger. "Why do you always say things like that?"

"I'm just stating a fact! Why do you take it as attacking you when I make jokes?"

"Because they're stupid jokes." She sniffled and covered her face with her palms. "And I'm really upset."

"I'm sorry. Bad timing on my part. Come lie down." I patted the bed across from me and she listened, surprisingly.

She settled across from me and I snatched a tissue from the bedside table to hand to her.

"Thanks," she said when she accepted it to dab at her cheeks.

"I'm sorry you're upset. What can I do?"

"Nothing." She sniffled and let out a soft sigh. "Nothing."

"If we were back in Seattle, what would you be doing if you were this upset?"

"I would call Raven and ask her to fuck me until I passed out," she said, rather candidly.

My shoulders bristled at the mention of her name. "I thought you hadn't seen her in over a year."

"I haven't, but that doesn't mean anything."

"I don't like Raven, Nora. She doesn't treat people with care. She does what she wants for herself—"

"I know. You say that every time—"

"Then why mention her? Why see her?"

"Because she gives me what I want and then leaves me alone."

"Is that what you want? To be fucked and left alone?"

"Just stop—"

"No. Why does it have to be so unhealthy?" I swatted the bed between us, and she started. "Sorry."

"Because it does…"

"No, Nora. It doesn't have to be like that. You deserve better than that," I said, cooling off my tone when the desire to rage pushed forward. I breathed through it, aching to snap Raven's neck off her squirrely shoulders. "You deserve someone who will take care of you, not just toss you aside."

"Yeah, well, what does it matter anyway?" She hugged a pillow to her chest.

"It matters. Stop arguing with everything I say…"

She calmed herself down after that and sniffled. "If it wasn't for Maya, I wouldn't do this anymore."

"I know. Have you thought about—"

"I've thought about it all." She lifted her hand to me. "I don't want to talk about it."

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