Page 54 of Solanum

"Don't even play." She smiled tearfully despite her statement. "You're incredible."

"You're incredible yourself. We do the same work, Nor. The only difference is the paths we took to get there."

She nodded her understanding, and I appreciated the fact that she didn't completely freak out on me. "So that's why you don't want me to touch you? Because it's hard for you?"

"Not exactly hard for me. It's more…" I thought about how to articulate what I wanted to say. "It's more protective. Like of course I want your fucking mouth all over my pussy on any given day, but I don't want that to happen in the context of scenes or random sex or whatever. I want that to be a part of the relationship I have with my partner. When the connection is true and real."

"Have you ever had that?" she asked, caressing my arm from wrist to elbow.

"A few times, but clearly, they didn't work out in the end. I'm not reserved when I'm in an established relationship, but the right time is for me to decide. No one else. And I'll stick to that limit and hope my future partner honors it. If they do, then I know I'm with someone I can trust," I summed up, rather simply it seemed in spite of the heavier themes at hand.

"Kissing goes along with that?" she asked, dropping the tip of her finger against my lips.

"Yes." I smooched her finger and she smiled. "It does."

She nodded while continuing to draw in slow, deep breaths. "I'm so sorry that I had no idea."

"I understand your need to feel like you have to apologize, Nor, but you don't. There's nothing to be sorry about." I caressed her cheek with my knuckle. "You've always been amazing and respected my limits, except when you're being a cute little brat. And if I wanted to stop you from doing something, I would have. I think you know me enough to believe that."

"Oh yeah." She chuckled then, nodding. "That I know for sure."

"Good." I let out a slow breath. "I don't normally feel relieved when I tell that story now. I normally feel the same as always. But telling you is slightly relieving."

"Well…you're my best friend, and maybe I'm yours…" Her long lashes flickered when she dropped her gaze for a moment.

"Yeah." Her declaration brought a full smile to my face. "You are."

"So maybe that's why. Best friends don't keep secrets."

"They don't. And I don't think I have any more secrets after the talks we've shared in the last twenty-four hours."

"At this point, I don't think I have any either. Maybe a few…but they'll come up in time when I remember them," she said, snickering. "The last two you discovered by accident."

"Did I?" I cocked a brow at her.

"That I like being spanked and I masturbate in the morning," she teased, her smirk lingering.

"Ah. Those are hardly secrets at all." I grinned. "I expected them both."

"Well, maybe you can quit working at the FBI and make a full-time gig of spanking women for a living instead. You're good at it. They'd pay you well."

I cracked up, poking the end of her nose. "I think they call that prostitution, Nor."

"Maybe. Not the worst thing though. Gets you what you need." She smirked and hugged my arm to her chest.

My brow furrowed when she didn't seem to find humor in my joke, and I tilted my head. "Are you saying you've done that?"

"Taken money for sex?" She nodded and shrugged. "A handful of times, but when I was a desperate teenager under seventeen. Dead or disappeared parents. A young cousin who needed things…"

"I'm sorry that you had to do that, Nora." I felt my face tumble from amused to concerned in a beat. I stroked my thumb along her chin. "You've had a difficult life."

"So have you." She laced my fingers with hers. Her gentle eyes implored me, urging me to lean into the warmth of her. "I don't like keeping my distance from you."

"Not a fan myself." I fussed with her hair when it tumbled over her shoulders. "What are we going to do about that?"

"I thought we decided. Quit our jobs and become prostitutes." She lifted her shoulders in a heavy shrug and fought the grin that threatened to curve her mouth.

"Well, then that solves it." I thwapped her hip. "I'm your pimp. Get to trickin'."

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