Page 46 of Solanum

"Because I want you to," she said, her voice soft.

"All right," I caved, as always. "But I don't need coffee."

She nodded and fidgeted again.

"I'm making you uncomfortable, Nor…" I slipped my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "I don't like when that happens."

"I'm not uncomfortable," she countered, her voice soft.

"You are." I pointed to the door. "I'm gonna go."

"No," she choked out, scuttling toward me when I reached for the knob. "I don't want you to go. I don't. I don't." She stood in front of the door, her back to it, gazing up at me with misty eyes. Her cheeks and nose reddened the way they did whenever she was about to cry.

The uprising of her sudden emotions punched me in the gut, and my insides crumbled like a skyscraper marked with dynamite and set to implode. Her eyes flickered over my face, surveying me for any sort of reaction. When it didn't come, as always, she pursed her lips, but it didn't stop the single tear that managed to escape down her cheek.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered, lowering her eyes then and covering her face with her hands when she cried.

I drew in a slow breath, extracting my hands from my jacket to grab her in a rough hug. A strangled sob left her when she held me around the middle, her face buried against my chest. I brushed my lips over the top of her head and rubbed her back in gentle circles.

"Maybe we shouldn't go to dinner alone anymore…"

"No." She thumped her palm on my shoulder. "No. I don't want to stop that. I don't want to stop spending time with you, Caroline. I don't."

"Then we need to figure out a way to spend time together differently." I ran my fingers through her hair, and she looked at me then. "Because this isn't working. We barely talk to each other because it hurts to do it."

"Tonight was so normal…"

"It was," I agreed, then gestured between us. "But what's happening right now, isn't."

She nodded, leaning away from me then to swipe at her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Nor—"

"I just…" She closed her eyes, turning around to face me again with a single finger held between us. "Want just one night with you… Just one."

"Nora, I—"

"It's been a year, Caroline. A whole year." When she opened her eyes, red ringed them and her sharp green eyes pooled with tears tore me up.

For the first time in a very long time, my throat tightened with threatened emotions, but I managed to swallow them down.

"Then what, Nor? We pretend it didn't happen? Go back to work and just ignore it?"

She nodded, sniffling after. "Yes."

"We tried that. Didn't we?"

"Yes." She swiped at her eyes again, then returned to standing in front of me.

"Things got complicated."

"They're already complicated."

"Because of what we did, Nor…"

"I just want one night with you, Caroline." She choked on a sob as she crumbled in front of me, her fingers gripping the front of her blouse.

Her reaction shattered me, and I swooped in to hug her again. The sight of her in pain, whatever agony ravaged her bled into me as well. She slipped her arms around my middle and again, hid her face against my neck.

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