Page 102 of Solanum

"What happened last night?" she asked, furthering our conversation. To admit that I enjoyed talking to Sali wasn't something I ever expected, let alone form a friendship with her. Over the years, I kept almost everyone at arm's length, save for Nora and Samirah.

"After I figured out what was scaring her, she was able to let me in again and show her it wouldn't hurt. He used that fucking cattle prod on her she said." My hands balled to fists when I thought about it. "No marks or anything on her, but her experience…"

"Yeah." Sali smirked, nodding along with it. "It's an experience."

"You would know…"

"I would."

"How did you fucking survive, Sal? I mean, I know how I did, but how did you? After everything…"

"Sometimes, Car, I think there were two things that prevented me from killing myself. The first, my sister. She knew nothing, but she would know how I died, and I couldn't do that to her. The second thing was the heroin. It numbed me out just enough to get a break from the suffering."

"Fucking heroin." I shook my head, my emotions bubbling in conflicted cauldrons in the pit of my gut. "He dosed her with it."

"He did. Which is why her memories are very scattered. Not the worst thing to have felt less…" She smirked, shaking her head at herself. "It's what made it so appealing. Staying away from it when my head was fucked up or when I was incredibly scared was difficult."

"No. Not the worst..." I pursed my lips when I considered it.

"Now I get a persistently horny wife." She grinned proudly while nodding up the stairs. "No need for any addictive substances when her delicious sex is the best drug."

I couldn't help laughing at that. "I feel you. Nora always used sex to soothe herself. And she loved being fucked in the right way. By me in particular." I chuckled when I said it. "Sounds pompous as fuck."

"I mean, you probably earned it." Sali laughed at that. "She's commented on your prowess."

"Years of practice." I grinned, rolling my shoulders as if cracking them. "Many with her."

"Give her time. Support her. And don't be afraid to pursue. She might be afraid to do it herself. And if you don't pursue her now and you had done so often in the past, she might process that as not being wanted by you. The traumatized brain, y'all…" A smirk tugged her mouth again.

"I always check in with her. Always. It definitely helped yesterday. She's never had a problem telling me what she wants, and honestly, she was always the one who pursued," I said.

"Good. She'll probably still do that once things get started. She's scared of herself it sounds like."

"Probably the most accurate description. She refuses to talk to anyone other than us and Anita. No doctor or therapist. Pride and all…"

"Fuck, I get that shit too. I was literally forced to see Anita for three years and hated every second until I actually started working it properly," she said.

"I never went, so I get it, too. I had people rallying around me. It was its own kind of community therapy." My mind wandered back to the crowds of supporters listening to me stand in front of them, recounting details while my heart raced with adrenaline.

"Nora does, too now. Her needs will become more apparent in time."

"So…you're like…all wise on the inside, and a complete fucking asshole on the outside." I waved my hand in the air in front of her. "Is that kind of how this shit works?"

She grinned, wagging her brows at me. "Don't you fucking tell anyone."

"I won't."

"And you're all beast, brawn, and games on the outside, a ball of mushy fluff in love with Nora on the inside. So technically, we're both assholes."

"Fine. If I'm an asshole, I want a membership card."

"Consider it done. We got T-shirts, too."

I laughed while the weight of the universe seemed to lift from me, even if only partially. Sali winked then pointed to the dangling punching bag. "Challenge you. Let's see who can roll the longest."

"You're on, little shit."

The two of us ventured to the speed bag where Sali promptly pulled a wooden box over before standing on it. It brought her eye-level to me and I simply burst out laughing.

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