Page 175 of Nocere

"I doubt it, sweetheart. She knows she dropped a bomb on you today." Rebecca brushed my hair off my face, her maternal doting settling me the way it always did. "How will you feel if she is your sister?"

"I don't know." I drew in a deep breath. "I don't want to think about it."

"Pretend for two minutes. How do you think you'd feel?"

"I think maybe happy, but I won't trust her right away even if she is my sister."

"That's reasonable."

"Sam and Alex think we look alike. Do you?" I sniffled and sat up now to face her. She gave my knee a squeeze then fussed with my hair again.

"I only stole a brief glance, honey. I was too worried for you," she said while using her thumb to brush something from my forehead.

"Anita can't be my doctor anymore," I told her. "We have conflicts of interest now."

Rebecca's brow wrinkled with immediate concern. "What do you mean?"

"Her girlfriend is Sam's friend and they slept together years ago. We just found it out. Anita and I talked about it and she's going to help me find a new doctor and therapist. I didn't want to switch at first, but now I do… I would be worried about talking to her." I blew my nose in the tissue and fought another round of tears. "But I want to talk to her about this because I always tell her things."

"Call her, honey. See what she says. I'll call her, too." Rebecca took my hand in hers. "I didn't know Anita was gay."

"Me either. I think she's bi though. She said that when we were talking, but she's in love with a woman. Marita is really nice and Sam trusts her."

"You met her?"

I nodded. "It was a confusing day. I've had a lot of confusing days."

"I know, sweetie." Rebecca brought my hand to her lips to smooch it. "I'm very sorry for keeping that information from you."

"I'm a little mad, but I agree. Telling me when I was fifteen would've been a bad idea." I let out a slow breath. "But you could have told me when I was older."

"I'm sorry, Rosie." She gave my hand a squeeze. "I should have."

"Why didn't you?"

"Your mom hurt you greatly, and I didn't want information I was unsure of to hurt you more." Another sad smile tugged the corner of her mouth. "Which it did." I nodded and leaned across to hug her. She kissed my temple and rubbed my back in slow circles. "I'll get swabs from both of you and we'll get the DNA test, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed and released her.

"Should I go there and meet her?"

"Yes." I drew in a deep breath. "Because I think she might be my sister."

"Only one way to find out for certain." Rebecca stood, holding her hand to me. I took it and she led me toward the door.

Every emotion possible bounced around inside me, but I made the decision that I wouldn't move in any direction until we knew for sure. I couldn't get my hopes up, and I couldn't let my anger get too powerful. One thing I knew for certain, if Juniper wasn't my sister, I would try and find whoever might be.

***

I sat on my couch wrapped in a cozy blanket with a pint of mint chip ice cream in my lap. Sam and I watched a slasher film together while I continued to distract myself from thinking about Juniper. She agreed to the DNA test, and Rebecca took our samples to the crime lab at work. I leaned against Sam and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders while we cuddled.

"Ready to talk yet?" she asked and I shook my head. "Okay, baby. I'm worried about you though. You're so quiet."

I offered her a bite of ice cream and she accepted it.

"Rosie, come sit in my lap." She urged the nearly-empty container from my grip then held her arms to me. I obliged and crawled over to straddle her thighs. Her fingers gripped my hips and I settled with my stomach against hers. "I'm worried."

"I'm okay," I told her, because essentially I was fine.

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