Page 159 of Nocere

"You can't be my doctor anymore after today," I said, choking back tears while I did so. "I know that."

"We should terminate properly, Rosie. I'd like to help find you another doctor and continue to talk about this change in our relationship."

"You know all my secrets. You know everything. My mom is getting released from prison. Sam's in so much pain from what happened to her. Her uncle is so mean to her. Everything feels really messy."

"It is really messy right now. I can validate that. And yes, Sam's uncle is quite terrible," she said, snapping my attention out of an emotional meltdown to the topic at hand.

"You know her uncle?"

She shook her head. "No, but Marita's told me of him."

"So you know the whole story of what happened to Sam?"

Anita hesitated, glancing at the door then back to me. "But I'm not supposed to."

"Do you think Sam has delayed onset PTSD?" I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"It's not healthy for me to suggest diagnoses for friends and family, but I think we can both agree that anyone who survives something terrible like that can have PTSD. What do you think?"

"Yeah. And anxiety. And probably depression, too. Like me."

"Yes." She offered me her usual gentle smile and leaned back in her chair. The conversation settled down as we had, into our normal routine. "And you've done very well."

"Mostly. My relationship with Sam has changed a lot for me."

"How long have you been together now?"

"Um...three months. Almost four."

"How have things changed for you?"

"For one, I'm hardly ever home anymore. I'm at Sam's all the time and I really like that," I said, smiling at the thought of our fun morning. "And I talk to her about everything. Literally everything."

"Does Sam know all your secrets, Rosie?" Anita's smile told me she already knew the answer to that.

I let out a soft laugh and nodded. "Yeah. And maybe a few more things than you do."

"Sounds like you've grown to trust her and love her." Anita leaned her elbow on her knee as if her interest increased with the reflection.

"I have. She told me that she loved me for the first time yesterday. It meant a lot."

"Rosie, I've seen you grow into a strong, happy woman since our time working together. And the fact that you've come here today telling me that you've developed a trusting, loving relationship with a significant other is very important. In fact, it's at the core of our work. Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

"Yes." A smile parted my lips when I thought about it. "I remember saying that in the beginning. I didn't know how to make friends or be social, or have a relationship."

"Except for Alex and your foster family, your connections were mainly from work."

"Some of them turned into friendships. Ainsley and Jordan, then Stella and Alice." I toyed with the fringe on the pillow. "I do like all of them a lot."

"I'm sure they're quite fond of you, too."

"I'm going to miss talking to you, Anita. Even though you're not, you feel like a friend to me…"

"Well, Rosie, I imagine that we'll have more conversations." She folded her hands in her lap, then leaned forward so that I'd catch her gaze again. "Just not as doctor and patient."

"I think Sam misses Marita. She doesn't say it, but I know she does."

"Well, maybe you and I can help them not miss each other so much in the future." Her smile, genuine and inviting, gave me some hope that she wouldn't vanish from my life after all.

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