Page 121 of Nocere

"Not at me…"

"Maybe not at you, but anyone or anything else. Let her confide in Stella what she needs to, okay? Be there for her after."

"Why do you know this?" I sniffled and Alice kept her grip on my shoulder. I didn't mind it at the moment and for some reason, her steady posture and words grounded me.

"Because Stella and Sami are friends. And Stella's given me fair warning about the fragility of that at times."

"I don't want her to see me upset." I swiped at my eyes and drew in a deep breath.

"Come out on the balcony. We have a different view than Sam's." Alice nodded toward the double doors that led to the balcony from the living room, and we headed out together.

Unlike Sam's apartment that overlooked the harbor, Alice's exposed us to the great expanse of cityscape. Cars passed below in varied waves, the breeze blew my hair off my face, and the city lights further quelled the unease in my stomach. Alone with Alice, I glanced at her and she offered me a gentle smile.

"I thought something was bothering her. She's quiet and hasn't eaten much," I said, leaning my elbows on the ledge of the balcony as we both looked out.

"I'm pretty sure Stella did, too."

I nodded and let out a slow breath, the anxiety passing as it had been lately with my efforts. "I really love her, Alice."

"I know." Her smile broadened as she watched me for a moment. "Have you told her?"

"Not yet."

"Maybe you should."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"Only one way to know, Rosie. Stella's told me that Sami trusts no one. Not a soul. She rarely, if ever, dates anyone seriously, but chooses brief pairings. And that day at Ainsley's, she only meant to hook-up with you. Before she followed you outside when you were playing with the girls, she and Ainsley got into a brief exchange. Ainsley wanted her to leave you alone because she knows how Sami can be." Alice's explanation clarified everything that happened during the earlier portion of our relationship.

"It wasn't a hook-up. It isn't," I defended, glancing back to see if Sam emerged yet.

"We know." Alice gestured toward the apartment. "We all know. And this is new for her. She's been through a lot."

Alice's reflection brought me pause, and I glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

"Moving around a lot. Her father's death. Her mother returning to strict cultural roots which kind of left Sam on the outs. Marriage. Divorce. Coming out later in life. It's a lot."

"Oh." I nodded, gulping down the emotions that tangled with the missing piece of Alice's reply. "I understand that."

"You've been through a lot, too. You both have and the two of you are very connected."

"I feel like we are. I just...I've never felt so strongly for someone."

"Honestly, Rosie, it's probably the same for her."

I wasn't sure how much time passed, but eventually, movement inside dragged our attention to our friends. Vee and Scarlett returned to the table with their wine glasses while Stella and Sam brought dinner to the table. Sam's eyes searched the room immediately until she saw me outside. She set down a dish of meatballs, before breaking away from the others to head outside with us. Alice winked at me before jogging inside.

"Let me help, babe," she called out to her wife.

"Hi." I greeted Sam with open arms and she pulled me into an immediate hug. If I hadn't known her as well as I did, I wouldn't have noticed the shimmer in her eyes that spoke of past tears. Otherwise, her perfectly poised doctor face remained in place.

"Hi, baby," she whispered, her lips against my neck as she rubbed my back in slow circles as if soothing me. I mimicked her gesture and her shoulders relaxed a little.

"Do you want to go home, honey?" I asked her and she leaned back, her gaze meeting mine.

"Not yet," she said, stroking her knuckles over my cheeks.

"Okay." I turned to kiss her hand. "Are you hungry now?"

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