Page 91 of Nocere

"I might be thirty-seven, but when I'm upset about seeing my mother and such, I feel twenty-seven again. I think it's pretty normal considering…"

"Anita says that trauma can stunt growth. Sometimes emotionally we get stuck at the age of our traumas until we learn to heal and cope. I believe that, especially when I'm upset," I told her and draped my arms over her shoulders.

"I can understand that, baby." She nipped my chin and let out a soft breath. "I'm sorry you're hurting and scared."

"You've made it easier, Sam." I tucked her hair behind her ears and sighed again. "Being with you has been the best month, almost two, of my life."

"You know, I'm inclined to say the same." She stroked my chin with her index finger. "Want to be brave with me?"

Her question brought a smile to my face. "How so?"

"Well, since we're both dressed with nowhere to be, would you care to accompany me to lunch today? I know a quiet little sandwich shop not far from here," she said, tilting her head as she traced my lips.

I drew in a deep breath then offered her a firm nod. "Yes. I will. I'm so annoyed right now all I want to do is tell everyone to go fuck themselves."

Samirah laughed and caught me in a sweet kiss. "You do that, my sweet. Tell them all."

***

The day before Thanksgiving, work for me became eight hours of catching up and cleaning up. No one bothered me because no one worked. Other than essential calls, staff loped around as they awaited their time off. Not everyone had Thanksgiving off, obviously, since we were a police department, but most of the civilian staff did.

While I tidied up the tables and pin board in my office, Ainsley's idly humming voice echoed down the hall. I chuckled before turning around, awaiting her appearance. She hopped into the doorway, smiling ear to ear as if she attempted to surprise me.

"Oh, boo. You were waiting for me," she said, a dramatic pout curling her mouth.

I laughed as I shook my head at her. "You were humming. I heard you coming."

"Well, that would do it." She snickered and bounced over to me, grabbing me in a hug. "Hi, nugget. How are you?"

"I'm okay." I squeezed her longer than usual and when she leaned back, she rubbed my arms. Her expression, though laden with a smile, carried the weight of knowledge in the way she looked at me. "Rebecca told you."

"She did. Are you okay?" She held both of my hands in a firm, assuring grip.

"I can't be anything else but okay, Ainsley. Can I?"

"You can be." She gestured for me to join her and we sat together at my desk like usual. I crossed my legs when I sat in the rolling chair and she perched on the armchair adjacent to it.

"I can't. Where's Jordan? I thought you both were going camping for the holiday."

"We are. She's picking me up in an hour. And don't deflect." She whipped her finger in the air.

"I want to deflect."

"You know me well enough that I can't be distracted." She wagged her brows at me and I huffed. "Rebecca is worried about you."

"She always is. I'm fine," I said, leaning back in my chair. "I'm not a child."

"We know, Rosie. But you're our sweet little Rosie who we all love and want to protect and kiss and hug." When she said the latter, she rose from her seat to hug me and smooch me all over my face. I couldn't help laughing as I swatted at her. "And cuddle and tickle and love."

"Ainsley! Stop that." I pretended to sputter while gently shoving at her. "What does Jordan usually shout at you?"

"Nothing!" She hugged me around the neck while snickering in my ear.

"Oh, yeah. Boundaries!" I laughed and hugged her arms once she calmed down.

"Want me to kill your biological mom for you? I know just how to hide the evidence. And I'd stage it well enough that I'd have to conduct the autopsy myself." She lifted her brows at me, and my jaw fell slack with surprise.

"Ainsley. That's devilish."

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