Page 90 of Nocere

"I'm going home. " I glanced at Sam and she rose now to join me. Her hands fell to my elbows.

"I'd like if you stayed."

"No. I want to. I want to go home." I fought the swell of emotions that her closeness brought. I made to move around her, but she shifted with me and we walked together to where my purse sat by her front door.

"Then I'll go with you," she said.

"No. I don't want you to." The second that I said it, tears tumbled down my cheeks because every word of it was a lie. I grabbed her into a hug and she lifted me clear off the floor while kissing my cheek.

"You're okay. C'mon," she whispered, and toted me back to the sofa.

"You both treat me like a child," I said when I sat in her lap. Soft sobs left me and Rebecca came to sit beside Sam now.

"Rosie." Rebecca took my hands, pulling my attention to her. "We both know you're very upset right now. It's okay to be angry and scared. Samirah and I are here to protect you. Right?"

I watched the words tumble from her mouth, and visions of all the other times she made the same promise bubbled to the surface. In that moment, I felt like a child. A twelve-year-old sitting on the edge of a bed in a group home, with Rebecca crouched in front of me, promising the same thing.

"I've always kept you safe, haven't I?" She gave my hands a squeeze and I nodded. "Now, I have Samirah to help me, too."

Sam leaned her head against mine and I settled against her. The arms she had around my waist trembled faintly.

"There's one difference now, isn't there?" asked Rebecca, drawing my gaze to hers.

"What?"

"You can keep yourself safe now, too. Remember? You're not a child, Rosie. You're not helpless. You have a voice." Rebecca's mantra reminded me of what my panic stole away. It settled me, and I could hear my rapid breathing.

I closed my eyes and snuggled against Sam when I finally calmed down. "I'm okay," I told them, and wiped my eyes on my sleeve.

"Where's your medicine?" asked Rebecca, glancing over to my purse by the door. "There?"

"I don't want it. I'm fine." I let out a slow breath. "I'll stay here with Sam today and be fine."

"Are you sure?" Rebecca glanced between us and we both nodded. "Okay." She stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'll check on you after work, sweetie."

"All right."

"Let me know if anyone contacts you." Rebecca appeared hesitant to leave me when she stood up and glanced to Samirah. "Do you have my number?"

"No, but I'll put it in my phone today. I'm sorry to have met you under tense circumstances," she said, her voice firm and doctorly.

Rebecca smiled and glanced between us. "Well, perhaps I'll see you Thursday under better circumstances?"

"We're working on it." Sam smiled and hugged me.

"Bye, girls." Rebecca blew us a kiss then, with caution and one last look at me, she closed the door.

Samirah poked my nose and I scrunched it up at her. "She really loves you."

"I know. I'm sorry I got so upset. Anita says I regress when I'm really upset." I stood from her lap and smoothed down my dress.

"Well, you regress and I get angry. And extremely bossy. So we'll figure it out, Rosie. Come back here." She held her hands to me, her expression almost pouty.

"I don't want you to have to mother me or take care of me. I want you to be my girlfriend." I sighed and stepped closer to her. She placed her hands on my hips and stroked my sides.

"I am your girlfriend, and girlfriends take care of each other. Emotionally and physically," she said, and tugged me back into her lap, though now straddling her thighs. "Rebecca's news was a difficult thing for you."

"Yeah," I admitted and laced my fingers with hers. "I might be thirty-three, but sometimes I feel thirteen again, especially when I'm freaked out."

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