"Stares. Shunning. They know I'm divorced. Some know I'm gay. A lot of discomfort."
"Your mother allows it?"
"She doesn't stop it." She shrugged and stared down at the space between us where my shirt gathered against my stomach. "It doesn't matter."
"It does matter." I stroked her cheek. "I'll go with you."
"So they can treat you the same way and my mother can call you my friend?" She shook her head. "No."
"If I have to stand outside of the venue and stare at it menacingly at the very least, I'm going. I don't want you going alone, Samirah. Stop doing so much alone." The words that escaped me surprised me the most, I think. Never before had I asserted myself so strongly with someone, other than at work.
As if I hadn't said anything at all, she sat up and swiped at her eyes.
"Do you work today, Sam?" I asked when she glanced at the clock.
"No. I took an earlier double."
"Isn't that exhausting?" I asked, watching her as she took a few deep breaths.
"It can be, but I wanted to go with you today. So I am," she declared, glancing at me with a smirk.
My brow furrowed and I tilted my head while surveying her. "How'd you know it was today?"
"Rebecca told me."
"You talked to Rebecca about it?" My eyes widened and she nodded.
"Yeah." She cleared her throat and held her hand to me. "Let's lay down for awhile since you haven't slept."
I accepted her gesture and she led me to the bed again. "Why did you talk to her?"
"Because you haven't mentioned the parole hearing but in passing, and I wasn't sure if I should bring it up," she said as we climbed in together. She pulled me to her and I rested my head on her chest as always.
"I'm really good at putting things having to do with my mother out of my mind."
"That's what she said. She also said it makes you anxious."
"I've had a good distraction." I tapped her lips with my finger and she smiled.
"We're both a little fucked up," she said.
"I thought we knew that already. From like sleeping together on practically the first date and spilling our beans after?" I laughed and she joined me in it.
"How could I forget?"
"Sam, after the hearing today, I want to talk about going with you the next time you see your mother. I want to really talk about it," I said, interrupting our frivolity. "And don't tell me no or I'll keep you on snowman indefinitely."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Cruel little thing you are, withholding my kinks."
"Nora taught me that one." I snickered and she gave my knee a swat.
"Go to sleep."
"You go to sleep, too."
"You first."
"Nope."
"Both of us."
"Fine. Deal."