Page 4 of Dark Biker Protector

He was gone. Out of Lilyvale. Where to? I had no idea. I was sure he wouldn’t have been able to track me to Atwood, there was just no chance he had come down here and worked out where I was – I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about there. And yet...

There was a part of me that couldn’t shake this feeling of dread pulsing through my system. I didn’t want to let it get to me, but I had spent so long being afraid of him that it almost seemed like second nature.

"Come on, let’s get you fed," I told Cinnamon as I lifted him off my lap and planted him down onto the ground once more. He scurried over to his food bowl, already well-aware of what he was due right now. I scratched his head and tore open a packet for him, emptying it into the little plastic container that had become his dinner plate.

As I stood over him, I felt a shiver run down my spine, as though someone was watching me. My eyes darted towards the window – but there was nobody there. I was just being paranoid.

Still, I pulled down the curtains, not wanting to risk anyone seeing me.

Least of all him.

Chapter Two – Chuck

I tossed back another shot, and Lee cocked an eyebrow at me.

"You alright, boss?"

"I’m fine," I fired back, though I was sure he could tell I was anything but. To be honest, tonight of all nights was a tough one for me. Even though it had been more than ten years since the day I had lost my sister, the memories of it still burned as bright in my head as they ever had, and the reality of that was too much for me to take.

Which was why I had spent this evening down at the Kennels, drinking my problems away with the guys. Lee and Jaxon had come out with me, but Jax had taken his girl Star home. The way they had been looking at each other, it was clear what they were going to get up to the moment they got the chance, and I was just glad we weren’t going to be keeping them from it any longer.

Even though being here was something of a headfuck for me. After all, I had spent the night here when she had died. For months afterwards, I had been unable to set foot in this place, even though I hadn’t been able to explain to Damien, the man who’d led the Dogs before me, why I was suddenly so against it. I had been deep in the club’s business for so long, and then all of a sudden I was backing off like the mere thought of it scared me. It would have been enough to throw anyone off, get them questioning what was going on inside my head.

But eventually, I managed to make my return. And when I had, I’d decided not to tell a soul what had driven me out in the first place. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to let them know what had happened to my sister. I knew how it would change the way they looked at me – if I hadn’t been able to keep that shit on lock, how could they trust me as Damien’s second-in-command?

And throwing myself into the gang’s work had been exactly what I needed to keep myself busy, keep myself distracted in the face of everything that had gone down. I still couldn’t believe it sometimes, that I had come as far as I had. When I joined the Dogs as a teenager, I had just been looking for a way to make money for me and my sister after the car accident.Our parents had died, but I had found a family here that I hadn’t even known I’d been searching for. My loyalties to them became strong, just as I knew their loyalties to me were the same: they looked out for me, protected me, and did all they could to have my back when nobody else did. If it hadn’t been for the Dogs, I wouldn’t have had any ground beneath my feet after she had died, and I knew I would never have been able to keep my head up, keep moving forward the way I needed to.

But tonight I wasn’t moving forward. No, I was looking back to that night when it had happened. I could remember it in stark detail, even though I couldn’t recall a damn thing that had happened after that. I vaguely remember organizing her funeral, and I knew I had chased that motherfucker Liam out of town. I would have killed him if I had been sure it wouldn't lead cops to the Dark Dogs. I had left him with a broken leg and a shattered nose, which was something, though it didn’t even come close to making me feel better about Abbey.

I knew those things had happened, but I couldn’t remember pulling them off; it was like I was watching myself in the third person, the pain too great for me to even think about dealing with myself. There was no hope in hell I would have been able to live through it if I’d been there, in that moment, stuck with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

I waved down Yelena, the bartender, and she pushed another beer towards me without saying a word. Unlike Lee, she knew better than to comment on how much I was drinking. But I got it, I did – Lee was looking out for me the way a man in his position was meant to. He was meant to have my back no matter what, and that was why he was my second-in-command, the same role I had taken up all those years ago for Damien.

I chugged the beer, hoping the booze would lift this memory from my mind so I could get some sleep. This time of year was always hard for me. The smell of the air took me back to that night, when everything I had known and clung on to for so long had shattered into pieces. I knew I would never get back the way I felt before – I would never be able to turn back time and undo the way I felt now, the pain that rushed through me whenever I thought of her. The guilt I still carried for not having been able to do more. I should have fought harder to get her out...

"Another shot," I told Yelena. She glanced over at Lee, who shrugged, I guess not wanting to make a scene. He knew when I could be talked out of a bad decision--and he knew when I couldn’t-- and tonight was, without a doubt, one of the nights it wasn’t going to happen.

"Sure thing," she told me, handing me another small glass and filling it with vodka. I took it, heat burning the back of my throat, letting the pain be a distraction from what was going on inside my head right now.

I wasn’t sure how long I stuck around at the Kennels, drinking myself into a stupor, but none of it felt like enough. It never did. On nights like this, nights when I felt closest to her, like her birthday or the anniversary of her death, I couldn’t put enough booze into my system to leave her behind for an instant. Carrying the memory of her so close to me like this was my punishment for how I had failed her, and I knew it.

Eventually, though, I could feel my eyes starting to droop, and I knew I should get back to the compound and get some rest. I rose to my feet, staggering slightly, and Lee did the same.

"Hey, boss," he remarked, lifting a hand to stop me. "You want me to give you a ride home?"

"I’m fine," I shot back at him. I knew how to handle my booze, even on a night like tonight. He stared at me, scanning my face, trying to work out if it was worth putting up a fight against me right now.

"Alright," he replied. "I’ll check on you when I get back. See you later."

"See you," I replied, lifting a hand before I headed for the door and grabbed my bike. Throwing my leg over it, I pulled away from the bar, not bothering with a helmet. I felt reckless tonight, like I wanted something bad to happen – maybe I deserved it.

I knew the cops would cause me trouble if they saw me out like this, but I didn’t care. I could talk my way out of anything with those fuckers by now; I’d had enough clashes with them these days as it was. It was part of the job, being able to handle cops who wanted to put their nose into your business – not that I was going to let them throw me off my game. Damien had taught me how to handle the shit that they threw at you, how to take on the trouble they wanted to make. Most of them were just looking to play do-gooders, and none of them had any real passion for it.

The people who actually wanted to make a difference quickly learned that there was no way to do that as a cop. Look at what had happened with Anna, the cops had heard her in all that danger, in that nightmare that he had put her through, and what had they done? Nothing. They didn’t care. Even when she was battered and bruised, lip split, hair torn out at the roots, they would look her up and down and tell her she was asking for it. Tell her that that there was nothing they could do, and she should just leave him. As though it were that easy for her.

I screeched to a halt outside the compound and tried the back door – shit, it was locked. I made my way to the front, the tattoo shop, knowing Jaxon would likely be in there working late – but, when I reached the front, I found myself waylaid by someone else instead.

"Chuck, hey!"

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