Well, not just anybody. Somebody in particular. And I was terrified that they might make their move at any moment.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to put one foot in front of the other. I needed to stop panicking at every little thing – I was fine, I was honestly fine. I was just picking up some food so I could go home and cook a healthy dinner, given that I had been living pretty much entirely on the takeout that Chuck had been bringing by my place most evenings. Not that we usually got around to eating much of it – no, soon we were distracted by way more entertaining pastimes than eating.
I smiled slightly as I thought about it, for a moment letting the fear release from my system. But then, I heard a man’s voice behind me, and I whipped around, eyes wide, stomach churning...
Just another guy picking up groceries, his wife by his side, his kid on his shoulders. Fuck, I was paranoid, and I hated feeling this way. I knew it was what Franco wanted. He wanted me looking over my shoulder every other second, doubting myself, doubting my senses, doubting everything that was going through my head. He wanted me feeling crazy, because it made his job a whole lot easier. Who would believe me if I was spouting the strangest shit all the time, jumping at shadows?
I needed to get back to my place. I was only a few blocks over from my apartment, and it would take me no time at all to make it back there, just curl up under the covers and get some sleep with Cinnamon by my side. The landlord had dealt with the graffiti on the side of the building, so at least I didn’t have to look at that every time I came back home again. It was a relief, at least, but not enough to make me feel entirely better.
I had given a description of Franco to Chuck. I didn’t have any pictures of him, not since I had deleted them in the wake of the break-up, and I knew the Dogs were patroling every corner of this city, looking out for him, ready to take him down and take him in the first chance they got.
And yet, it wasn’t enough to calm me down. Because I knew what he was like – I knew how easy it was for him to fade into the background, vanish into nothingness like a ghost. That was what he relied on, being unnoticeable, sliding into a crowd and sneaking up on his target with no warning at all.
I hurried back to my place as quickly as I could, but as soon as I was away from the large crowd outside the grocery store, I felt even more panicked. I knew how vulnerable I was on my own like this, how easy it would have been to sneak up on me. I needed something to protect myself with – a gun, mace, a knife, anything. But even that seemed like a risk – he could have so easily taken that from me and turned it on me with ease. I didn’t want to know what he would do if I fought back – this was how he had acted since I had left, but making a scene, putting up a fight? It could have brought out a whole other side in him, one that I wasn’t ready for, one I didn’t want to discover.
And I didn’t even know if he was in the city. Not really. That was the biggest headfuck of all of this, that he might not have been anywhere close to me, and I was still panicking as hard as I was. I was pretty sure the graffiti that I’d seen at my apartment block had been from him, but it could have been a coincidence, I supposed – seemed like a long shot, but there was a chance. I was tormenting myself with the possibility that none of it might have been real, and he was just living rent-free in my head, hanging out there, impossible to shake.
I stared down at my feet, telling myself to just keep moving, just keep moving. I would be home in a few minutes...
All at once, I heard a cough behind me, and I snapped my head around again. Who was following me? I scanned the street once more, feeling like I was going to scream with frustration if I couldn’t see anyone. I didn’t know what was worse at this point, feeling as though I was crazy and overthinking everything or actually seeing someone there, someone waiting for me, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce at any moment.
The street was empty. Or, at least, that’s how it looked. I closed my eyes and caught my breath, trying to calm myself down as I leaned up against the wall behind me. See? It was okay...
Shit, no, it wasn’t. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be alone right now. Chuck had told me to come by and see him if there was anything bothering me, and I felt like this was as good a reason as any to go catch up with him. I didn’t want to be by myself, I knew I would just torture myself with the possibility of everything that was happening, and the sooner I got out of this stupid headspace, the better.
He lived a few blocks away from me, at the compound where the tattoo shop was. I knew my way there like the back of my hand, and the thought of being with him was already enough to soothe some of the panicked overthinking in my head.
But...what if I led Franco right to the door of that compound? What if I tipped him off about where my new lover was? He would go mad with jealousy, I was sure of it – not because he wanted me back; no, Iris was right when she had said it wasn’t about romance, or love, or dating again. He just wanted to control me. Wanted to decide exactly how my life went, whether I liked it or not, and that was all that mattered.
I had to trust that Chuck could handle himself. That’s what he’d told me, over and over again – that he knew what he was doing, and a fucker like Franco wasn’t going to be enough to throw him off his game. He was stronger than I gave him credit for – I knew he had been through a lot to end up in the spot he was now, even if there were still some things he didn’t want to share with me.
I reached the back of the compound, the one that led up to his lodgings, and found Chuck leaning outside, talking on the phone to someone. Before I could so much as say a word to him, he tucked the phone away and turned to me with a concerned expression on his face.
"Abbey? You okay?"
I was so relieved to see him, I couldn’t even muster up an answer before I wrapped my arms around him and planted my lips against his.
He returned the embrace and kissed me back, not breaking away for a second. When I finally drew back to catch my breath, he gazed down at me.
"You okay?" he asked me, and I nodded.
"I just...I need to be with you," I told him. "Can you take me to bed?"
"You don’t have to tell me twice," he replied, grinning as he kissed me again, hitching me up into his arms, my grocery bag still over one shoulder, and carrying me inside. He lived in an apartment attached to the compound, and nobody else was hanging out there right now, thank God. Not that I would have cared if they were. I just wanted him to myself right now. Only he could take my mind off the mess scattering through my brain.
He laid me on the bed, and I tossed my bag aside, reaching to pull him on top of me, my long skirt pooling around us as he pounced on me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him tight. The feel of his strength, holding me close, made everything fall into place, and I let out a breath I didn’t even know I had been holding.
"I’ve been thinking about you all day," he murmured to me as he rolled the skirt up over my hips, reaching between my legs to pull down my panties. I loved hearing that growl in his voice. The low pitch represented honesty and devotion: he wanted this just as much as I did, and our need for each other burned in both of us.
I moaned against his mouth, wordlessly returning the sentiment, and lifted my hips so he could pull my panties off entirely. I could already feel his hardness nudging against my hip, and I traced my fingers down his arms, his muscles flexing beneath his skin with every motion. He caught my face in his hands and pushed his tongue into my mouth, sending a flood of arousal through my system.
"Oh, God," I moaned, and he grinned, reaching down to unzip his pants and drawing his cock into his hand. On instinct, I drew my legs back, allowing him to press himself against me, gazing down at the sight of him feeding his cock into my aching pussy. I loved seeing him enter me like that – not just the sight of him filling me, but the look on his face, the way his brow creased slightly as though it was almost more than he could take. That was the part I loved the most.
"Fuck, you feel so perfect," he growled and slowly pushed himself into me, taking his time like he was savoring the sensation of every inch. I tipped my head back against the covers, eyes drifting shut as I let the sensation fully take control of me. God, was there anything better than this? Anything more likely to lift the stress and overthinking I’d been letting myself get lost to than the feel of him entering me like this? He was nothing like the other guys I had been with; he was in no rush, and he was willing to take this as slow as I wanted, to give me everything I needed, exactly as I wanted it.
He moved his hands to my hips, pulling me up and against him as he sank the last few inches into my pussy. I groaned loudly, not caring if everyone in this damn compound heard me at it – why would I give a fuck when he felt this damn delicious inside of me?
My eyes fluttered open once more and landed on his, taking in that look on his face – sheer lust, all aimed at me, like my body was a toy he couldn’t wait to make use of. And that’s all I wanted to be for him right now. I didn’t want to think about anything else in the world, anything going on outside these walls, except how good he could make me feel, how perfect it felt to have him pushing deep inside of me the way he was right now.