Page 97 of The Summer of ’98

“And you’re engaged.”

“He proposed last summer. He’s pretty eager to get married but we’re waiting for the right time.”

Her stare drifted, it became distant and sad.

“Mom, what are you doing here?”

“Your father came into the store a couple of weeks ago,” she said and the ground fell out from beneath me. “He was asking after you.”

“What? My . . . father. He was asking after me?”

She inhaled a deep breath and nodded. “He claimed it had taken him far too long but it was about time he had some involvement. He wanted to know where you were and how he could contact you.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that you were out of town and I’d talk to you,” she dropped her gaze and her voice took on a slight tremor. “I was embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know where my daughter was or how to contact her.”

She sniffled and swiped at her cheek, leaving me with this sinking feeling in my stomach. Seeing Momma cry was something I hadn’t witnessed a lot in my lifetime, but it was hard no matter the occasion.

“Seeing him,” she said. “Reminded me of a decision that I’d made a long time ago. The decision to raise my daughter the best I could, despite being left in the lurch by that man. He walked away, he chose not to love you, and I knew it was up to me to do better.”

Her crying got heavier. “And then I did the same thing that he did. I walked away when you needed me the most and I am so sorry, Ellie,” she buried her face in her hands. “It felt like I was watching history repeat itself. Young love, a wealthy man, a pregnancy. I’d done it all and I was so terrified that it was going to end the same way. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want you to go through that heartbreak and end up struggling for the rest of your life.”

The fact that I had no idea what to say was starting to frustrate me. Whenever I came close to a response, she continued speaking.

“I know I haven’t always been the most affectionate woman. I had a lot of rules and I had a short temper, but I do love you, Ellie, and I only wanted the best for you. I can see now, you were right. You’re doing very well for yourself and that boy loves you.”

“He does,” I finally said, my throat feeling thick. “I don’t think you were wrong to be worried, Momma. It’s normal to be worried about the unknown, especially when it comes to something so major. All I wanted was for you to have a little bit of faith in my judgment.”

“I should have,” she agreed. “You’ve always been a smart and sensible girl. I should have trusted your choices and I handled it all wrong. Ellie, I really am so sorry for how I behaved.”

“I forgive you, Momma.”

Her lip quivered again, her face crumpling as she stood up and opened her arms. Being pulled into her hug felt like a new beginning, a chance to start over. In all of my life, I’d never felt as comforted by a hug from her as I did in that moment. All of her anguish and regret was obvious in the way she held me—she truly was apologetic.

“Your children are beautiful,” she mumbled into my hair. “Just beautiful.”

I leaned back and swiped at a tear that slid down my cheek. “They are pretty great.”

Leroy came back out with the twins and Momma sat down with the tri pillow so that we could rest them on it, and she could enjoy a cuddle. It was an odd sight to see—I wasn’t sure if I would ever witness Momma looking longingly at her grandchildren, but the smile that she wore made my heart swell.

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Sandra?” Leroy asked.

“Oh,” Momma looked at me for permission and I nodded. “That would be lovely.”

Leroy tilted his head for me to follow him and when we were out of sight in the kitchen, he leaned against the countertop and pulled me between his spread legs. “You okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” I whispered back; Momma was just in the next room, after all. “That was nice of you to ask her for dinner.”

“I realized about zero-point-two seconds after I said that, I should have asked you first.”

“It’s fine,” I assured him, caressing his stubbled jaw. “I’m happy she’s here. I mean, I haven’t felt like I’m incomplete or anything without her, but it’s still really nice that she wants to try.”

He leaned in and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering for a few sweet seconds. “I’m happy for you, baby.”

“Oh, what was the riddle that your professor gave you guys. Is it in English class?”

“Yeah,” his brows pulled with thought. “I may only be given, but never bought, sinners seek me, but saints do not.”

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