Page 45 of The Summer of ’98

“What? Cass, no.”

She gasped and slapped her hand down on mine. “Her dad?”

“Cass! No! I just said her dad was the one who was attempting to kill him.” I blanked at how slow she was behaving. She either forgot that Nadia existed, or she was in adamant denial. “Her sister. Nadia. He was with Nadia.”

“No, no. Nope.” She folded her arms and shook her head, refusing to accept the truth. “He wouldn’t. She’s a fucking child.”

I sat in silence while her leg bounced, and she chewed on her thumb. I felt so bad for her. She had been nothing but sweet since I met her, and I really couldn’t understand what possessed Noah to be such an asshole. I also couldn’t understand what possessed her to stick around. She could do so much better.

“I feel like some of this is my fault,” she said. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. “We’re not official. How can I ask him to stop sleeping around if we aren’t an actual item? I just need to tell him that I want all or nothing.”

“I thought that you hated him and wanted to let him go?” I recalled her speech from last week.

“I think it’s obvious that I’m full of shit,” she said. “I’m obsessed with that bonehead.”

“You shouldn’t be. He’s thick. He carries his brains in his back pocket if he can’t see what a catch you are. You deserve better.”

“Honey, I know that.” Cass held a hand across her chest. “Trust me, I’m well aware that these curls could be tangled in the fingers of a much more deserving man. But we can’t help who we fall in love with.”

As inclined as I was to agree, I still had to argue. “Yes, but we can help who we let touch us. You need to be strong. Tell him no. The distance might make it easier to move on.”

She sagged with a defeated sigh. “Ellie, I know that he doesn’t love me the way that I love him. He’s never looked at me the way that Leroy looks at you. And I wish that I didn’t care about him so much. But—I do. And I guess I’m just kind of hoping that he’ll grow up and love me back.”

Her voice hitched and I suspected that underneath her shades, she might have been fighting back tears. It broke my heart that she felt so torn-up over Noah. I couldn’t see the attraction; I didn’t get it. But she seemed to care about him more than she wanted to and I empathized, unable to imagine how awful it must be, to feel so much for someone who didn’t feel it back.

She inhaled a deep breath, let it go, and looked around before her attention stopped on the tattoo parlor in front of us. “Should we go get matching tattoos?”

It was so hard to tell if she was kidding or not, but I had a feeling that she meant it. “I think that would be fun and all, but we could think on it for a bit?”

Her shoulders slouched. “Tattoos are the sort of thing you do on an impulse, chick. Let the moment carry you.”

“I don’t think I’m in the moment.”

She frowned and I almost wished that I was the sort of person who could walk into a parlor with no preparation and get a tattoo. It might have been fun. But the thought of Momma finding out was enough to scare the only shred of consideration right out of me.

“I’ll watch you get one.”

She waved me off and stood up, regaining the confidence in her posture. Confidence that was admirable and intriguing. Confidence that I wished she had when it came to standing up for herself against Noah. In all other aspects of her life, Cass carried herself as if she were untouchable, in command, sure of herself and her worth. How much of that was an act or a façade? Because I couldn’t understand how this was the same woman who let a boy like Noah walk all over her.

We wandered into a nearby pharmacy. I wanted to browse the skincare products, more so when I saw bins full of bargain items.

“This stuff is so cheap,” I gasped, turning a bottle of retinol over in my hand to read the ingredients. “And it’s the real deal.”

Cass dug through the bin too, rummaging through the various cleansers and oils. “I don’t know much about this stuff. I never know what I should be using.”

“What’s your skin like? Problem areas?”

I’d noticed some minor breakouts on her chin and forehead but pointing it out seemed cruel.

“I get pimples on my forehead and chin. Cheeks too sometimes.”

“Sounds like you’ve got an excess oil issue. What about dryness?”

“No, my skin is never dry.”

“Definitely an oil issue, then,” I said and dug through the bin as a staff member wandered past with intent interest in what we were doing. It wasn’t uncommon for teenagers to steal from the pharmacy; it happened all the time at the one I worked at back home. I smiled at her and continued searching. “You’d benefit from using a salicylic acid face wash. Salicylic is good for excess oil. I’d start with a two percent. It’s likely to dry your skin out at the beginning, especially if you haven’t developed a tolerance to it. Be sure to use a good moisturizer, preferably one with an SPF in it. This is a good brand.”

I shoved the moisturizer into her hands, along with the face wash. “Niacinamide is another good product for excess oil. Pure ingredients are so much better than using skincare that has like zero-point-three percent niacinamide and the rest is additives that can sometimes be worse for the skin. Niacinamide goes after the cleanser but before moisturizer. Leave it for about ten minutes to soak. Retinol! Retinol has anti-ageing properties. It speeds up the cell turnover and prevents fine lines, uneven skin texture, and age spots. It also regulates oil production and helps with breakouts. The younger you start using it, the better, but it makes your skin super sensitive to the sun, so, sunscreen every single morning. It can also dry you out so if you start to notice that, leave it for a day or two. I actually use it every second day.”

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