Page 24 of The Summer of ’98

“Tell me how to be strong, Ellie.” She flicked her shades up, pushing her ringlets back and staring at me with a pleading gaze.

“I’m not great at the whole advice thing.” I winced when she sighed with disappointment. “It kind of sounds like—”

“Do not say love!” She cut me off. “I do not love that moron.”

That wasn’t what I was going to say, at all. I was more headed in the direction of unhealthy dependence. Especially considering the way that he’d talked about her yesterday. She probably didn’t want to hear what I had to tell her, though.

“You got the good one.” She sat forward with a defeated slouch.

I couldn’t argue with that.

“I need another drink.” She burped on cue. “You want one?”

“I’m fine, thanks. How do you get away with drinking in the middle of the day?”

She let out a loud bark of a laugh and adjusted her shades. “Mom hasn’t noticed a fucking thing that’s gone on around her since James left when I was eleven. James was my dad. If she’s not dating someone new, she’s at the bottom of a bottle.”

“My dad left too,” I said. “But I hadn’t been born yet. I never knew him.”

Cass stared straight out ahead of her. “You’re lucky.”

It would be an understatement to say that I wasn’t the best at offering advice or comfort, no matter how empathetic I felt. I never knew if I should offer a shoulder or an ear. She seemed so sad.

“Were you close with him?” I asked, hoping that she wouldn’t find the question invasive.

Cass exhaled a deep breath. “I thought I was. But how close could we have been if he just up and left? Bastard. I know that he and Mom never got along but . . . we did. He could have taken me with him, you know? I’d have preferred to live with him than her. She’s a mess.”

“Have you ever tried to find him?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to start. Besides, why should I have to find him? He knows where I am. He’s the parent. It’s his job to act like it.”

I’d never thought of it like that before, “That’s true.”

“Mom dated this one okay dude when I was fourteen. He was pretty nice, and she had her shit semi-together because he was some hot-shot corporate guy. She couldn’t act like an alcoholic slutbag when they went to events and all that. But she blew it. Correction: she blew his brother.”

I winced.

“That’s what Mother Dearest is like. Whatever. It is what it is. I’ll be honest, though; I can’t wait to get out of this place. Or out of my home. Just a change, you know.”

“Are you going to college?”

“When I graduate.”

“Oh,” I blinked. “You didn’t graduate with Leroy?”

“No. I’m a senior this semester. Another whole year at school with Noah and his bullshit buggin’ the hell out of me.”

“I didn’t realize,” I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them, watching Leroy directing his teammates, the passion and dedication in his form. “What will you do at college when the time comes?”

“I’m not sure,” she shrugged. “I’ll figure it out when I’m there. That’s the point, right?”

“Yeah,” I said. There was a slightly stronger rush of breeze and it was a refreshing break from the hot sun. The wind made the old bleacher frames groan and the gate rattled. “I guess it is.”

We watched the practice for another half hour. Cass sunk three more beers that she’d stashed under the bleachers to keep cool, and we made small talk while we sat in the grass. It became apparent that Cass preferred to keep up conversation rather than sit in silence. There was never more than a beat of quiet, but I appreciated that about her.

“Can I just come with you two, please?” Cass pleaded with Leroy after football practice.

“This is becoming a bad habit,” he muttered as we walked back to his car. He was coated with a sheen of sweat—he still hadn’t lost his shirt, but it was damp and sticking to his torso.

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