Page 29 of Catch My Fall

I hate this.

It doesn’t take long for Alec to wheel me through the hospital and out into the garden. It’s a fairly large enclosed area within the grounds, surrounded by the buildings that make up the hospital. The green space is lined with trees and flowers of every colour while benches are placed around the edge of the grass.

Alec stops beside a bench in the far corner, shaded by a huge tree and takes a seat beside me.

I take in a deep breath of cool, clean air, closing my eyes as I tip my head back to the sky.

“Doc says I could be going home in a couple of days,” I say.

“Seriously? That’s great. Are you excited to get back to normal?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever feel normal again, or even like my old self—at least I don’t right now—but I’m gonna try.”

Alec watches me with a soft gaze. “You seem a little happier today, it’s nice to see. I don’t like seeing you upset.”

I turn my face away, nibbling the inside of my cheek as my next words teeter on my lips. “You make me happy.”

My words are quiet, but I know he heard them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his head turn to me, but I keep my eyes down, pretending to pick at a hangnail as my heart pounds in my chest.

He goes to speak, but he’s cut short.

“Sierra.” Gage’s voice startles me and I look up to see him coming to a stop in front of me, followed closely by Rafe.

Gage’s face is unreadable as always, and a deep frown etches into Rafe’s brow.

“Alec, can you give us a minute?” Gage asks.

Just as Alec begins to stand, I place my hand on his forearm. “No. I want Alec to stay.”

Gage goes to argue but I shoot him a warning look.

Rafe flashes me a sad smile. “Hey, little Hudson. How are you?”

“Like I got kidnapped, tortured and gang raped for over two weeks by a sadistic sociopath and his sick friends. How are you?”

Alec stiffens beside me.

Too soon?

Gage’s face crumples and something inside me breaks. The last time I saw him like this was when watched our dad die.

Rafe blows out a breath, taking a seat next to me on the bench, mindful to leave a considerable space between us. “I don’t even know what to say, Si. Nothing either of us can say will make this any better. We’re just glad you’re okay.”

Rafe reaches out but I flinch away from his touch.

“Sorry,” I mutter, “force of habit.”

I hate that my initial reaction is to recoil from physical touch, especially from my own brother. I know he’d never hurt me. But right now, my head’s a little fucked up and I struggle to differentiate between friend and foe.

I wonder why I don’t recoil from Alec?

“It never should have come to this,” Gage says quietly, shaking his head.

“Yeah, well. It did.”

“And for that, I feel partly responsible, both Rafe and I do. We’re the reason you stormed out that night an—”

“I don’t want to go there, Gage,” I cut him off. “I don’t have the energy or mental capacity to. What’s done is done, it’s over with. As much as I hate the fact you’ve been lying to me about Mom, I just want to draw a line under it.” Dwelling on the past never ends well.

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