Page 79 of Catch My Fall

It’s growing dark as we leave the restaurant, Alec and I going off on our own while the others take Sam to take part in the many games they have here.

“You okay, princess?” Alec asks as we walk hand in hand along the promenade, the surface of the water reflecting the array of coloured lights from the festival.

I look up and conjure my best smile. “I’m great.” My hand squeezes his as my eyes catch on something up ahead. “Oh my God! Let’s go on that!” I point to the huge Ferris wheel that stands tall over the entire festival, using it as an excuse to direct the conversation elsewhere.

I tug him towards it, leading him right up to the ticket stall where we purchase ours before joining the short line to await our turn.

We don’t have to wait long until we’re guided into an open basket that swings under our weight, and within a minute we’re lifted into the air.

I glance to my left where Alec is sat, his body rigid with his hand clutching the metal railing for dear life.

I cock my head. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights.”

“Not afraid, I just don’t like them very much.” He chances a glance down to the ground a hundred and fifty feet below us as we come to a halt at the very top and he curses under his breath.

I shimmy closer to him and tip his chin so his eyes are on me. “You just need a distraction.”

Leaning in, I capture his mouth with mine, not wasting a single second before slipping my tongue between his lips to tangle with his.

The hand that was gripping the railing is now buried deep in my hair, tipping my head back to allow him to deepen the kiss as his other hand snakes around my back.

He tries to tug me onto his lap but the basket creaks and tips to the side and I let out a squeal, clinging to Alec as we break out into laughter.

“We should probably slow this down, I don’t particularly relish the idea of plunging a hundred feet to our deaths, no matter how much I want you right now,” he says with a smirk.

“You’re probably right.” I give him on more kiss before settling back against him as his arm goes around my shoulders. I rest my head on his chest as the Ferris wheel starts to rotate and we begin our descent. “I love this, being here with you.”

“Me too, baby.” I feel his lips against my hair. “Me too.”

∞∞∞

We’re both quiet as we step inside the house and hour later, the atmosphere tense, just like the drive home. He follows me silently through to the kitchen as I switch on the coffee machine. I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my head and I do my best to ignore it.

I flick my gaze up to my reflection in the window, noticing Alec stood behind me, leaning up against the counter with his arms folded.

My heart begins to race because I know exactly what’s coming.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I spin around to face him. “Nothing, I’m fi—”

“Don’t tell me you’re fine,” he snaps, cutting me off, “because I’m not accepting that excuse, not after I found you crying in the bathroom and you barely speaking a word all the way home. I didn’t mention it earlier because I didn’t want to push you. I was hoping you’d bring up whatever was wrong yourself, but you haven’t, so I’ll ask you again, are you okay?”

“Why do you want to be with me?” I blurt, the words even taking me by surprise as they fall from my lips.

He frowns. “Where is this coming from?”

“Why do you want to be with me?” I repeat. “Look at the bigger picture, Alec. I can’t have children. What happens further down the line when you decide you want a baby, a baby I can’t give you? Are you okay with never hearing your child’s first words, or teaching them how to ride a bike without stabilisers, or see them off on their first day of school? Are you saying you’d be okay with that? That you’d give all of that up for me? I want all of that, and I’ll never be able to give it to you. That life is out of reach for me, but it’s not for you, and I’d hate to have you come to resent me one day for depriving you of starting a family. What I’m saying is that… I’d understand if you wanted to find somebody else who can give you all of that…”

He’s quite for a minute, though it feels like I wait an entire hour for him to speak, his eyes unwavering as they hold mine. “Are you done?”

“Yes?” It comes out as more of a question.

“Is this because of my cousin and his family? Seeing them together today with Sam?”

“Maybe.” I shrug. “I don’t know… I think it’s something that’s been in the back of my mind for a while, I just tried not to think about it.”

His face softens as he steps closer, taking both my hands in his as he backs me against the counter. “Sierra, princess…” he begins, the nickname melting something inside me. “A family was never on the cards for me before I met you. You are my family. My home. My life started the second you entered it, before then was just a blank space, a void. Nothing.” He reaches up to cup my face. “I won’t ever have to sacrifice anything by being with you, because I have everything I want right in front of me. I could never resent or regret even a single moment I spend with you. After almost losing you, I cherish every day as if it were the last.”

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