He was right. It made her feel terrible. “I’m sorry.”
That statement about their father also got a reaction from Jolene. She moved to her brother. “Shane. Shaney. Come on. Maybe we should all go somewhere else and talk, okay?”
“You don’t want to let me in, do you?” Shane asked her quietly, ignoring his sister.
She wasn’t sure what that meant. “What are you talking about?”
“JoJo let’s leave them to hash this out.” Chance put his hand on Jolene’s back.
She nodded and they left the room and closed the door behind them.
“What does that mean?” she asked Shane, her hands shaking. The look on his face was scaring her and she was still reeling from telling Chance the truth about their father.
“I understood why you didn’t tell me a virgin though I still think you had plenty of opportunity to tell me the truth. But okay, hey, you didn’t know me, you didn’t necessarily owe me anything. But we’re together now. I love you. And you didn’t feel like you could tell me that my brother-in-law is your half-brother? I mean these aren’t random people. This is my family. You’ve been interacting with them and you didn’t say a damn word.”
She bristled a little. He made it sound like she had been intentionally deceitful or cunning. “It wasn’t like that. Everything has just been happening really quickly. I didn’t expect any of this. Maybe I haven’t handled it well, but I don’t know what I’m doing, Shane. I’m trying to figure it all out as I go.”
“Not to mention that I hate having to act like I don’t know you, don’t care about you, because of people’s opinions I don’t give a fuck about.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I feel like I’m pushing you for something you don’t want. It’s ironic. I find the one woman I want to commit too, and she can’t commit to me.”
Avery tucked her hair behind her ear, tears suddenly rising without warning. “Shane. This isn’t all or nothing. And please don’t put words in my mind. I did not come to Nashville to be with yet another man who wants to control my life.”
“I don’t want to control your life.” His jaw was tense, his eyes filled with a sorrow that scared her.
She wanted him to reach for her, but he didn’t.
He was the man who had held her, comforted her. Made love to her.
She was in love with him. In her mind, she was committed to him. “I want to be with you.”
“And I want to be with you too. But I damn sure expect that if I open my heart to you, if I tell you stuff, things that matter, that you’ll do the same thing.” His jaw was twitching and when he finally held out his arms for her, his eyes were intense and dark. “And if you can’t, then maybe our timing is off. Maybe we’re in different places.”
“It’s not that easy,” she whispered, closing her eyes and sighing when he pulled her against his chest. “I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you. A relationship should be a place of safety where you share when you’re ready. It grows naturally.”
“That’s my point, sweet girl. Maybe I’m a little more ready than you and I need to respect that. We’re at different places in our lives.” He kissed the top of her head and released her. “Maybe we both just need some time to think this all through and see where we’re at.”
She winced, but she nodded. He had made up his mind, that was obvious. He wasn’t wrong, either. She was confused and emotional. She did need time to sort out all of her feelings and thoughts and what all of this meant for her future.
She yanked her guitar off the chair and nodded. “I’m going to take the rest of the afternoon off and listen to some Johnny Cash in a dark room. Will you call me?” It sounded pleading. She knew it did and she didn’t care. She didn’t want to lose Shane. Even if she wasn’t sure she could give him whatever it was he was asking for.
“I’ll call you,” he promised.
With that reassurance, she rushed out of the room, and promptly burst into tears.
Fortunately, Jolene and Chance were hovering and they whisked her out of the building through the back door and into an SUV with tinted windows. Before they pulled out there was a tap on the door. Jolene opened it and Avery saw her boss was standing there. Good, Lord, what must Pat think of her.
“So, Miss O’Leery, are you having a relationship with Shane Hart, yes or no?” Her face was pinched, annoyed.
Was she still having a relationship with Shane? Avery pictured tangled limbs, Shane’s smile, felt his soft kisses behind her ear, heard her own cries of pleasure as he slipped his tongue over her. “Yes,” she said, because there was no denying it. To deny it would be to deny herself and everything she believed in.
“I’m going to have a senior staff meeting this afternoon. Don’t come in tomorrow unless I call you.”
She closed her eyes briefly. She was getting fired. Forcing herself to look at Pat, she nodded. “I understand.”
Pat gave her no reassurance, she just nodded and turned on her heel.
“Oh, God,” Avery said, falling against the seat. “I’m getting fired.” She didn’t want to cry, but she couldn’t stop herself. It was really stupid to be sharing her emotional turmoil with Jolene Hart, for a lot of reasons. But she was anyway.
Jolene patted her knee and said, “Don’t worry about that right now.” She had gotten into the back seat with Avery and now she indicated to Chance that they could pull out.