“What?” She dug in her purse for her phone. “I don’t think Lauren picked up on that. She might not want to do that.” She found her phone and started texting.
Where are you?
I’m having the best time ever. OMG HE’S SO HOT.
Lauren had already had three Jack and Cokes and then had taken a shot of who knew what with Michael.
Are you sure?
Yes. I’m totally going to fuck his face off.
Okay, then. Avery envied Lauren’s decisiveness. She got another text.
Are you okay to get home? Because I’ll see you Monday with a story to tell.
I’m fine. Have fun! xoxo
Lauren didn’t reply. Avery looked up at Shane. “Is she safe with him?”
Shane nodded. “Yes. He’s a giant flirt but he’s totally harmless. If she’s looking for a good time, he will definitely give it to her.”
“Aren’t you mad he just left you like that?”
“No. We do that to each other all the time. You can’t be sensitive about it.”
Avery knew she was sensitive about everything right now. Very sensitive. For some reason his words rubbed her completely wrong. “Is that just how it goes? Is that what this is?”
“What what is?” Shane tipped her chin up. “You know what this means though. We’re finally alone. It’s about fucking time.”
Her emotions were too raw. She jerked out of his touch.
“You still don’t get it!” she said. “If I get fired, it’s over, Shane. Do you know what they’ve been saying about me at work? I heard people talking. Saying that I sucked your dick in exchange for face time with Jolene. That I’m a shit songwriter who doesn’t deserve to have a song on hold, but that slut beats talent.”
He looked extremely shocked and chagrined. “Wait, what? Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m dead serious. Unfortunately. I told you this would happen. How do you think Pat is going to feel about this being the dynamic in the office? If she fires me, no other publisher will ever hire me. I won’t be able to pay my rent and what’s the point of staying anyway if I’m untouchable? I’ll end up going home and that’s it.” She threw her hands out in an exaggerated gesture, making an x. “I’m done. End of story. My career over before it even started.”
His face sobered. “Avery. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you. I didn’t know it was this bad for you. I thought—hell, I don’t know what I thought. I thought people would gossip, but people always gossip. I didn’t know it would hurt you like this.”
She was crying, and it mortified her, but she was too upset to get a hold of herself, anxiety clawing at her as the tears ran down her face. “The stakes are huge for me. There’s nothing for you to lose. I have everything to lose. You know I’m attracted to you. I want you, okay? I wish more than anything I could have another night like the first one. Can’t that be enough for you to declare a victory for your male ego and just leave me the hell alone?”
Blame it on the beer or the lack of sleep but the torrent of words just flooded out of her while he stood there, on the sidewalk, watching her, waiting for her to finish. He didn’t interrupt. He didn’t scoff. He didn’t frown. He just waited. Then he nodded his head.
“I never meant to cause you trouble and I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want. I just wanted to get to know you, Avery, honestly. That’s what I wanted. I want to be with you.” He reached his hand out and stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “You’re a special woman and I want a relationship.” He dropped his hand, ran it through his hair in frustration. “What I want with you is, well, hell, someone to make love to and to make memories with. You don’t even know how easily I could fall in love with you if you give me any encouragement at all.”
Oh, God. No, damn it, no, why did he have to say that? Why was he looking at her like that? His brown eyes earnest. Honest. Those words could kill her. They made her ache with longing for him.
“Actually, that’s not true,” he said. “I’ve already fallen in love with you.”
Her heart was about to burst out of her chest. Shane Hart was telling her he loved her. “You barely know me,” she whispered, though she had clue why the hell she was trying to talk him out of it. The man loved her. He loved her. It was incredible, it was magical, it was amazing.
“I know you’re the first woman to make me feel like this.” Shane reached out and brushed her hair back. “If everyone already thinks we’re hooking up, why don’t we really give them something to talk about? You and me, together. A couple. Nothing in the shadows, no sneaking around.”
“If I hadn’t been the one to leave that morning, would you have given me your number?” She had no idea why that mattered but she was completely rattled and needed to say something.
“Yes. I was already preparing to ask you out before we fell asleep.” He tapped his chest. “You touched me here, woman, and no one has done that ever. Do you understand? I don’t even need to be involved in the demo for the song if it’s going to complicate things. I can just totally bow out. I’m not Hart-Rivers’ producer. I just wanted to be involved.”
She had wanted him to be involved. She stood there, chest heaving from her outburst and his words, not sure what to do. Suddenly it felt like the most horrible thing in the world to lose the chance to be loved by Shane.