Page 74 of About That Night

Toby is shaking his head in amusement. “Dad, I swear to God, you can’t just say whatever the hell you want.”

I’m coughing and sputtering and thinking I might die from laughter.

“What? It’s true. I only wanted two kids. Your mother is very persuasive, if you know what I mean.” He raises his eyebrows up and down.

“Oh, Dad, please,” Toby protests, making faces. “Stop. This is the wrong audience for that. That’s what fishing buddies are for, not your sons.” He shudders and makes a gagging face.

I can’t stop laughing enough to speak. My lungs are burning.

Conway raises his glass. “Here’s to those of us Dad didn’t want.”

“Cheers to that.” Toby raises his glass too.

I manage to quiet my laughter and take a deep breath, raising my own glass. “To the kids Dad got talked into having.”

“Y’all know I love you though, right?” Dad says, suddenly looking worried and sounding more than a little drunk.

“Of course we do. So what made you finally stop at Faith?” I ask, amused.

“Don’t ask that!” Toby protests. “There’s no telling what will come out of that man’s mouth.”

“We went through a butt-stuff phase, and by the time that was over, your mama was in menopause.” Dad frowns at his glass. “Damn, I think I’m drunk.”

“You think?” Conway demands, looking horrified. “Holy hell, Dad.”

Toby has jumped up off his chair and is stomping his cigar out. “My fucking ears are bleeding! I need a shot of Jack. I need Jesus. I need therapy.”

I actually fall off my chair onto the porch floor boards. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. “Can’t. Breathe.”

“This is all your damn fault,” Toby says, pointing a finger at me. “Egging him on.”

I don’t even care. It’s fucking hilarious.

George and my mother come outside.

“Why on earth are you on the floor?” Mama asks, looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. Which maybe I have.

Because between wheezes of laughter, I’m wondering if I can talk Chastity into a butt-stuff phase since she’s worried about getting pregnant.

If it worked for my fertile parents, it has to be a solid strategy.

At least until I can convince her we should be together. Forever.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chastity

Exploring each other’s bodies.

Mrs. Young’s words have been ringing in my ears nonstop for three days.

It’s all I can think about. She seemed to think it was totally natural for me to have sex with Hank, and it’s so far off from my own mother’s reaction to anything sexual that I have been turning it around and around in my head.

I told Nevaeh about it, and her comment was, “Jenny Young knows what’s what.”

I think she’s right.

So I need to explore sexuality a little more thoroughly, give into my curiosity.

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