Page 72 of About That Night

“Why don’t you have kids?” Toby asks. “Do you have low sperm count or something?”

“Fuck off,” George says.

“Hey, now, lay off your brother,” my dad says. “He can’t help it if his boys don’t swim.”

“My boys swim fine,” George says, exasperated. “We just don’t want to have a baby until we’ve built a house. Alison has her heart set on building here on this property so we can be near all of you assholes, though God knows why.”

“Hank! Get in here!”

It occurs to me I might actually be in trouble, but I have no idea what I did. I hand the two cigars over to Dad.

“Coming.” I go into the house, making sure to bang the screen door behind me.

She’s standing in the kitchen, hands on her hips.

“What?” I ask. “Do you need help cleaning up?”

“No. I want to talk to you about Chastity.”

Here it is. That has me going straight for the bar. I forgot my drink outside.

“What about her?” I ask, striving for casual. I pour myself a whiskey and take a sip.

“Can you quit screwing around and just put a baby in that girl already?”

I spray whiskey all over the bar cabinet. I’m choking on it, thumping my chest. “What the hell, Mama?”

“What? It’s not like you’re fooling anyone.” She rips off a paper towel and hands it to me. “We can all see you’re in love with her. Back when she was right out of school, I didn’t think it was anything other than you two exploring sex together. When I saw her creeping out of your bedroom at six in the morning, I figured you were just learning what amazing things your bodies can do.”

I’m horrified. “Can you not say things like ‘exploring sex’ and everything that came after that? It sounds really damn weird. I was twenty-four, not in the ninth grade.”

She ignores that. “But then you saw her in New Orleans, and after that, it was pretty obvious to me she’s the one for you.”

It takes me a second to process all of that. Besides, my throat is still burning from choking on whiskey. “How do you know I saw Chastity in New Orleans?” I manage to say, half-heartedly wiping off the bar cabinet.

“You told me. It was like you couldn’t contain yourself. You had to tell me. You were all, ‘Hey, guess who I ran into, Mama?’ And I knew everything when you said her name because your face lit up. I just knew she’s the one who could get you to settle down. I was a little surprised it didn’t seem to go anywhere back then.”

I don’t even remember telling her I saw Chastity. I’m a little embarrassed that I did. And that, apparently, my face lit up, whatever the fuck that means. “But now you want me to get her pregnant? You’re joking, right?”

Though I don’t know why I’m asking. Of course she’s not joking. She doesn’t joke about babies.

“No. Not at all. Just cut to the chase and have a baby. She’s obviously an amazing mother, and I’m so impressed with how she’s raised that little boy all by herself without any help from her parents. Who don’t seem like very nice people, by the way. I’d like to give them a piece of my mind.”

The whole time we’ve been talking, my mother has been sanitizing the crap out of her kitchen countertops. She’s very liberal with the spray bottle. She’s wiping the island down with aggressive sweeps.

“Can I help you?” I repeat, balling up the paper towel I’m holding and tossing it in the trash.

“No. Cleaning helps me think. You can make a baby with that girl if you really want to do something for me.”

“Mama.” I’m a little exasperated. A lot exasperated. “Isn’t that skipping a few steps? What about dating, an engagement, marriage?” I wasn’t lying to my brothers. My mother has never been on my ass about any of that. I always assumed she thought I wasn’t ready for marriage and a family.

“She already has an almost-five-year-old, what difference does all that other stuff make? Did you see the way she looked at Cash and Sera’s baby? She was in tears. Chastity is in love with you, too, in case you’re wondering. I see the way she looks at you.”

Did I say I was in love with Chastity? I’m starting to worry I blacked out and sent a family group text at some point that said I’m in love with Chastity.

“I am actually speechless,” I tell her. “You’re nuts.”

“No, I’m thinking with total clarity. Now get. I have things to do.” She shoos me away. “I have to pack to fly up to Nashville.”

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