Page 42 of About That Night

I sigh. “Look, I love you because you’re my mother, and I know you love me, but this isn’t about me anymore. It’s about Josiah. I moved back here to try to see if we can have a relationship and because I want to raise my son in a small town, but I have to protect him from this negativity.”

“Negativity?” She seems startled by the phrase.

“Yes. Dad bossing us around and us having to obey. It’s not healthy.”

“Does that mean I can’t see him?” My mother doesn’t even bother to wipe her tears, which unnerves me.

She was always so put together. She doesn’t seem put together now. She seems broken.

“You can’t see my son. I’m sorry.” I’m not even sure I feel sad about that. Maybe sad for my parents for what they’re missing out on, but no longer sad for me. Not even sad for Josiah. I don’t actually want them to have any influence on him at all. He knows true, deep, unconditional love from me, from Nevaeh, from Miss Loretta.

He’s a happy, healthy, confident little boy, and they have the power to erode that, just like they did with me. And that’s a hell no. I will never let that happen.

The most important thing in my life is protecting my son.

My mother nods. “I understand. I’m proud of you. You’re stronger than me.”

It feels like years, and the weight of expectations, have just been lifted off of me. “I am strong. Life is good, Mama. Try enjoying it for once.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just sits there in her chair, ignoring her damp cheeks, staring down at the carpet.

With that, I get up and leave the house, slowly closing the door behind me.

I feel…free.

Beautifully, gloriously free of shame, censure, guilt, and longing.

There’s nothing for me in that house, and that’s okay.

I pull my phone out as I head to my car to see if I have any texts from Nevaeh, but instead it’s several dating app notifications and a text from Hank.

I open the text first, which I instantly realize is revealing. I care more about communicating with him than random guys I don’t know.

Looked into pee wee football. Conway is a volunteer coach, so we can get Josiah on his team, which Conviction is now sponsoring. Might have gotten carried away.

That makes me laugh out loud. That’s very Hank. He’s definitely an all-in kind of guy.

That sounds amazing. Thank you.

I add a kiss emoji at the end, then panic and delete it before I send the text. I send kiss emojis to my friends all the time, but it could give Hank a mixed message.

That I want to kiss him.

Which I do.

But I can’t because I told him I wouldn’t bring up anything sexual.

We’re just friends.

Exactly the way I want it.

Though I’m not sure when and why I ever said that.

How did seeing your parents go? You okay?

That warms my heart. Hank is much sweeter than anyone has given him credit for. He and I are alike that way—constantly told we’re something we’re not. I slide into my car and shut the door behind me. I glance back at my childhood home.

My father no-showed but I’m good. Seriously. Letting it go.

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