Page 26 of About That Night

“In the kitchen. I’m a chef. I cook the chicken. Smothered chicken?” It’s a good dad joke.

“That’s not funny, son.”

Apparently not.

“You don’t want to mess around with voodoo.”

I’m trying very hard not to laugh. Who the fuck is messing around with voodoo?

I get my paddle ready because I paid to rent this kayak, and I want to spend time alone with Chastity. Janie will get over it if we split from the group.

“Bless your mother’s heart,” Corky says.

I try really hard not to roll my eyes at that.

“Speaking of mothers, did you know that Chastity is a single mother?” Betty asks.

Chastity sighs.

I hear the judgment in Betty’s voice, and this is no longer entertaining. They can take shots at me all day long, and I could care less. But now they’re picking at Chastity, and I’m not putting up with that.

“I do know that,” I say. “Since we’re dating. She’s amazing, juggling everything she does all on her own.”

I’m not sure I’m supposed to tell anyone we’re dating because we’re fake dating, but fuck it. Betty is on my nerves.

“I can’t say I’ve ever heard who the father is,” Betty says. “Chastity, who’s that boy’s father? I’ve never seen him around. Is he in prison?”

Chastity says flatly, “I have no idea.”

I’m just impulsive enough that I’m tempted to say I’m Josiah’s father, but I don’t want to make the situation worse for Chastity. I also want to tell Betty to fuck right off, but I’m not twenty-two anymore. I have grown and learned to shutter my impulsiveness. I want to give her a solid lecture on minding her own business and that evil isn’t only in New Orleans but maybe also lies in her pickled and sour heart, but none of that will solve the problem, so I keep my mouth shut. I’m cool. I’m mature. I’m a business owner and master of my domain.

“Hey look, there’s an egret,” I say, pointing with my paddle, going for the distraction technique. It works with my niece, Marigold. You throw a cookie at that kid, and she forgets literally anything and everything else.

I feel trapped in this damn kayak. If I paddle really fast, we can pull away, but then what? I’m not sure if Chastity will figure out what I’m doing if I suddenly try to jet off. She is a fantastic care provider, but she doesn’t seem to have a sly bone in her body or the world’s greatest arm strength. Her paddle was barely skimming the water as she let me do the heavy lifting.

The distraction technique doesn’t work on Otis. He says, “Maybe she doesn’t know who the boy’s father is.”

He says it while ogling Chastity’s chest.

That’s it.

I turn my paddle toward him and stretch it out so it’s almost tapping him on the chest. “Hey, look, there’s an asshole.”

Then I tip our kayak.

Add that to the Hank bank of impulsive moves.

It will give them something to talk about other than Chastity.

Chapter Seven

Chastity

The sudden jarring motion of the kayak is as shocking as these people’s determination to make both me and Hank uncomfortable.

I’m constantly stunned at the mean-spirited nature of some people.

But nothing is as stunning as the moment my body falls into the cold water.

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