Page 51 of New Orleans Collection

I almost sag in relief when the car I ordered arrives. I never drive to Club Sin, especially when I used to go with Viola before she got with the Falsini triplets. There is no doubt that Viola’s car is equipped with a tracker and though I’ve never asked, I would not be at all surprised to find out mine is as well.

My father has always been overprotective. There were times when it wasn’t so bad, but when my brother came back home after losing himself in being a nomad following the death of his girlfriend, he decided I needed another man in my life who wanted to smother me.

I know it all came from a place of love, which I am lucky to have in my life, but it’s all too much sometimes. It’s made me feel like I can’t be myself time and time again. I want to be able to be wild and fuck up without anyone knowing unless I tell them.

Aren’t we all supposed to make mistakes?

Yes, those mistakes don’t sting as much when you have a net to catch you. I won’t deny the truth of it. But you still have to make the wrong decisions and learn from them.

No one can avoid getting hurt, no matter who wants to protect them. It might be something completely unforeseen. It might be because of someone you allow in your life. It might be because of your own actions.

No one can avoid it, but that hasn’t stopped my family—my father and brother most of all—from trying to wrap me in bubble wrap and close me inside who they think I should be in the attempt to keep the evil of the world away from me. It’s sweet and I know it comes from love, but at the same time, it makes me feel stifled.

Once I get dropped off at home, I shower quickly and then head out to meet mom at the DSMC clubhouse. I almost didn’t go to Club Sin last night because of our lunch date today, but it felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin as the way the Guidice brothers cornered me at Viola’s birthday dinner kept playing over and over in my head.

I needed a release and I sure as hell got one. I had no idea the brothers who had been haunting me would be the ones to give it to me though. I figured I would try and get them out of my head by purging them from my system.

Clearly, things did not go as planned.

Now they’ve burrowed even deeper inside me. I can’t help but smile as I wonder what they’re going to do when they wake up to find me gone. I’m sure it won’t be good.

Or maybe they won’t care at all.

That thought has me frowning as I pull into the compound and park my car before heading toward the large double doors where the devil’s skull which makes up the DSMC insignia greets me. Most people would find it odd, but the large, renovated warehouse that the club calls home has always felt like a touchstone to me.

Some of the biggest events in my life and the life of my family were celebrated within the walls of the clubhouse. For many this wouldn’t be normal, but not for me. It’s the way I was raised and the loyalty, determination, grit, and strength I was raised around seeped into my blood just as much as it did my brother’s.

Prodigal lost his way for a little while, but he’s been back for years now. I resented him for a long time. Well, maybe that’s not true. I was angry. He missed so many of the years when I was growing up and while I hated that he lost the girl he loved, he didn’t have to leave his family behind in the attempt to heal.

At least, that’s what I thought when I was a girl. Now, I understand what he needed in a way that I didn’t even when he came back home and certainly not when I was a kid. He needed to run, while hoping the demons of his past weren’t fast enough to catch up. I don’t think he was ever fast enough, which is why he came back.

I’m glad he did. I missed my brother for the six years he was gone.

When he came back, I would still see the shadows and pain in his eyes. Lately though, since he found Wrenly—who, oddly enough, is the younger sister of the girl he lost all those years ago—there is light in his eyes. The love he has for Wrenly is a beautiful thing and I’m only slightly jealous of it.

Okay, sometimes a little more than slightly, but I don’t let that rule me because I’m happy has fuck for him and the future laid out in front of him. I just wish I had the same.

None of the relationships I’ve tried to be in have lasted. None of the guys I’ve been with were strong enough to stand up to my family or the legacy of the DSMC that is wrapped around me. None of them had the same grit. Loyalty was something they could barely spell let alone embody.

I should have known it wasn’t ever going to work out with them.

When I hit the common room of the clubhouse, I see my mom sitting at one of the tables off to the side and I go over to her right away because I need the kind of hug only a mom can give. She looks a little startled when I wrap my arms around her. Her recovery is quick and then her arms are wrapped around me, surrounding me in comfort and stability in a way that she’s always been able to do.

Her voice is full of questions, but she only asks, “Are you okay?”

I swallow hard before I talk, but I manage to force out, “I’m fine, Mom. I just missed you.” I pull back from her and force a smile. “That’s not a crime, now, is it?”

She narrows her eyes at me, and I know she knows that I’m a big liar. I’m not surprised, she’s always seen far more than I wanted her to see. Thankfully, she doesn’t call me out on it and just nods her head.

After she stands, she leads me to the kitchen. “Come on, sit with me while I get our lunch together.”

“You don’t want to go out?” When she looks at me, I pout which has her rolling her eyes and laughing. “It’s a good thing anything you make will be awesome,” I grouse.

“I know,” she chirps before I stand and lean against the counter in the large kitchen which takes up a good portion of the back of the clubhouse.

The men here all like to eat and while not all of them are amazing cooks, Mom has always been one to make sure the brothers get fed. Even though there are other old ladies amongst the club, the ones who have been around for a long time don’t spend as much time here as they used to.

I remember it being one big family when I was growing up. As the boys started growing into men and became members, along with more guys their age, something shifted within the club. I guess it’s a changing of the guard or something as the next generation comes up, but it certainly took away some of the family feeling I was used to.

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