Page 10 of Luna Rising

“Did he use his alpha voice?” I asked, secretly glad that I wasn’t the only one who had noticed his newfound love of giving orders.

She laughed. “Is that the one where he sounds all deep and gravely and he talks like this?” Her voice dropped several octaves at the end in a hilariously bad impression of Ewan.

“Close enough,” I said.

Winter used her normal voice when she answered. “It was so weird. I think he believed it would work.”

The knots in my muscles eased as I imagined Ewan casting his alpha influence on Winter. He might’ve been the King of Wolves, but she was Nicasia–the only female eternal. Her power, even as a mortal, had no equal. The woman opened a gateway to another realm for Gaia’s sake. Granted, most alphas probably underestimated younger fae, but Ewan wasn’t most alphas and knew better than to think Winter would kowtow to him.

Her expression turned serious, green eyes soft. “How are you? Ewan sort of hinted you were having a rough time adjusting.”

“The dreams are hard,” I admitted. There was no point in sugarcoating it, she’d see through my lies. “That’s normal, though, right? I don’t remember everything yet. I guess that takes time. But I’m, I don’t know, aware of a lot from my past lives.”

Winter narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, clearly confused. “Like, you can sense things that happened?”

I shrugged, not quite sure how to explain it. “Sort of. It’s like how you remember events from your childhood occurred but not the details. Does that make sense?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get it, I think. Mom took me to an amusement park when I was, I don’t know—five, six? We have pictures, and I look happy, but I don’t actually remember riding any rides or eating cotton candy.”

“Exactly.” I relaxed enough to step away from the wall, the hunger still front and center but not nearly as intense. “I know I lived in London while married to Hayden. Don’t ask me when or what our house looked like. I don’t even remember our names. Still, I know it happened. We had an entire life together there.” I shook my head, frustrated by my inability to recall specifics. “I don’t even know who I am anymore, you know? Am I Zosia or Zara? Or one of my other identities?”

Creases formed around Winter’s mouth as she pursed her lips. “You’re both. Well, all of them, really.”

I took an unnecessary breath. “Yeah, so that’s seven personalities trying to mesh in my mind. It’s… a lot.”

This was the most that I had spoken about the subject since waking, which was oddly cathartic. Ewan didn’t ask about the dreams or my previous lives. I had appreciated it until opening up even a little to Winter. Now, it felt like a disservice to avoid discussing the transition from mortal to eternal. Giving voice to my inner turmoil made it less scary.

She leaned forward tentatively, careful not to make any sudden moves, and offered me her hand. “You won’t hurt me.”

Deep down, I knew she was right. My ingrained need to protect her trumped my desire for her blood. I moved closer and wrapped my cold fingers around her warm ones. Her magic was like balm to my dry, itchy throat. The hunger gnawing at my insides dimmed.

“Better?” she asked, giving my hand a squeeze before pulling back. That was when she noticed the burn on my palm and frowned. “What happened?”

I rolled my eyes. “Your father happened.”

“Call him Walter.” She shuddered.

“Okay, Walter happened.” I held up my hand so she could see the emoji in its full glory.

Her lips twitched, and I felt her amusement through our bond.

I waved my hand. “Go ahead and laugh. I know you want to.”

She did. “It’s a little funny, Zara.”

I made a noise deep in my throat. “You really are his daughter, and I don’t mean that in a nice way.”

Winter laughed harder. “Vampirism sure hasn’t changed you, and I do mean that in a nice way.”

I felt more like myself than I had since waking, which was all thanks to her. Winter’s calming magic had that effect. “Well, thank you, I guess.” With much less sarcasm, I added, “And thank you for the spell. It’s helping a lot. Impressive magic by the way. Someone’s been studying her spell book.”

She leaned back and smiled. “Yeah, well, I’m supposed to be this great warrior. Those two decades in the human world, never using my magic, put me behind. I’m playing catch-up.” Her head fell to one side, a small, sad smile on her lips. “Our bond works both ways. Right now, it’s my turn to help you.”

I swallowed hard and whispered, “Thank you.”

Winter straightened and rubbed her palms along her jean-clad thighs. “We do need to discuss something. Ewan won’t be happy about me telling you. He’s worried about you taking in too much while you’re still adjusting.” She drew in a breath. “But you should know, when I opened the portal on the night of the Two Comets, tears formed between worlds. Mat used one as a doorway to the Cursed Realm. He’s going after Cassius.”

Somehow, I was simultaneously shocked and not at all surprised. Opening the portal had been dangerous and, in the end, I wasn’t sure we had made the right decision. What had we really gained? The cure for vampirism? We only had enough for one person, so it was hardly like we could reverse the plague of undead the fae had unleashed so many centuries ago. And now Mat had access to the only person standing between him and final death.

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