Page 21 of Filthy Chef

After we’ve been at it for an hour, he stops and makes eye contact with me for the first time.

“I’m sorry.”

I squint at him. “For what?”

“For barking at you in front of everyone.”

“You think that’s what I’m mad about?”

“Aren’t you?”

“I might be blonde, but I understand what it means to appear above reproach, Chef.”

“Tell me what you’re mad about so I can properly apologize.”

Is he serious?

I wave both arms around in a gesture to indicate everything.

“All of this. All of everything. Literally so much of everything, Jason.” I emphasize his name just to be a brat.

He nods, starting to catch on. “The name thing.”

“Sure, let’s start there. Why did you give me a fake name?”

“I didn’t give you a fake name. Plenty of people call me Jay.”

I purse my lips. He barely contains a smile, which is all the more enraging.

But you withheld your last name.”

“So did you,” he says. “That was implied with the whole one-night stand thing. Strangers having one incredible night together.”

And that is the biggest lie of all, even bigger than leaving off his last name. I can’t stand the idea of us being a one-night stand. As infuriating as he is, I’ve caught feelings. OK, maybe it is just the beginning of a feeling.

Enough that I wince at his description of our time together. I cover it up pretty well, but he sees the wince.

Dammit.

I square my shoulders.

“But you knew that I would recognize your name. I might be a bit thickheaded sometimes but of course I would recognize your name.”

“You didn’t tell me your last name, either.”

“That’s because my name doesn’t ring a bell for anyone!”

Quietly, slowly, and with deadly precision, Jason flattens me with this: “Someday, it will. For everyone.”

The comment pierces me in a hidden place where my deepest wound resides.

No. Not now. Not crying now.

I can’t let him make me feel special. I can’t let myself feel that he believes in me, not after all this deception.

So why does it make me feel so damn good to hear that?

Is it because I’m only 22 and my prefrontal lobe isn’t finished developing. That must be it.

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