Page 9 of Bones

I don’t move for what feels like an eternity but in reality, is probably only five minutes. I don’t even bother peeing before I walk out of the bathroom, too lost in my own head to even remember I had to go.

“Princess, what’s up? Are you okay?” Jax rushes over as he sees me, his voice almost panicked. I flinch at the nickname; it was Bones nickname for me, but a few of the other guys have picked it up.

“Yeah… fine. Can we go home?” I ask, needing to get the fuck out of here before I have a nervous breakdown in public. His brows lower as he studies me than nods his head.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go get Elana.” He tucks me under his arm and pulls me toward where the other prospect is watching over El. Jax whispers into Roni’s ear, and he nods before grabbing El from the dance floor. She has a smile on her face before her eyes meet mine and her face blanches. I don’t know what I look like right now, but I know it can’t be good.

“Jesus, Beth. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, are you okay?” She has no clue just how correct that statement is.

“Yeah, I’m just not feeling good. Can we go.” I say lamely knowing she won’t buy it, but I can’t voice what I’m actually feeling right now without breaking down. Without hesitation she nods and takes my hand pulling me from the building as the guys follow behind us.

“You, okay?” She whispers in my ear once we are out of the club and making it back to the SUV, the guys getting into the front. I nod, not really wanting to talk, “Seriously.” Her voice sounds so worried I know I have to tell her something or she’ll freak out and I can’t handle her panic on top of my own.

“I just saw someone from my past, that’s all,” I say to her, the only truth I can at the moment. Her eyes widen.

“One of the girls you were sold with?” She asks as she looks back toward the club like she could see her from here. I shake my head, closing my eyes as I try to keep it together.

“No…” Is all I can manage. I never told her anything about Angie. I never thought she was a real person. I always thought she was just someone I made up in my head to try and comfort my younger self, to feel less alone. Like an invisible friend.

El, sensing I don’t want to talk about it, doesn’t push as we head back toward the clubhouse.

Sweat drips down my back and my palms twitch. I can feel the darkness trying to take over, my subconscious wanting to take me back into those memories before they were tainted with the truth. My whole body trying to cave in on itself while simultaneously pulling itself out to sea and dragging me under. The overwhelming feeling of being out of control while struggling to keep myself afloat. Nausea turns my stomach and I bite my lips together to hold it back.

I was finally free, and I think that’s what hurts the most.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” El chants from the seat next to me while tossing quick glances over at Roni, who keeps giving me worried looks through the rearview mirror.

He slams on the brakes right as we pull up and I throw the door open before hopping out and quickly emptying the contents of my stomach onto the gravel. My knees trying to buckle. I pinch my eyes tightly closed. No… I will never kneel again. Not for him and the pain he’s still managing to bring me or anyone else.

I hear a chuckle to my left. “Too much to drink, Princess.” Bones grunts as he pushes himself off the wall, a beer bottle dancing between two fingers as it swings back and forth with his drunken sway.

“Shut the fuck up, Bones.” El spits in pure rage before rounding the car to hold my hair back and rub my back.

“I was just kiddin’, El, chill out.” He smirks, still not understanding the situation. And why would he. He takes a few steps closer and takes me in.

“Fuck, Beth.” He rushes closer and I know he senses the seriousness since he called me Beth and not princess. El and Bones whisper above my head and I’m only able to catch bits and pieces slipping in and out of the numb state that used to be my safe haven. “Shit.” He grunts before hefting me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style into the warehouse and up the stairs toward my room. Not even acknowledging any of the guys who call out to him. He carries me all the way to my bathroom turning on the shower and slowly stripping me out of my clothes, making sure his eyes don’t linger on anything important for any length of time and even in this moment that hurts.

He puts me in the shower, handing me my toothbrush as I watch as he strips off his shirt while I brush my teeth. He leaves his pants on but takes of his boots as he climbs in behind me.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I got you.” His voice is rough but low, soothing. I tuck my arms close to my chest while resting my head on his chest, letting the tears fall, merging with the water. Allowing the waves to crash over me knowing that he will be there to pull me back. “What happened, baby?” I can’t even raise my head to look him in the eyes as I say the word that’s been tucked inside my mind since as long as I can remember.

“Angie.” My knees give out and his big arms tighten around me holding me up as he tucks me closer to his chest. “She was real, not just in my head. She was his daughter.” I know to him I’m talking nonsense, but he doesn’t bother interrupting or trying to make sense of it, not yet. He just listens to me. “He did it to her too. He told them I ran away. Made them think I’d died.” I babble all the information I learned tonight, trying to work through it myself.

He lowers us both down to the shower floor, setting me on his lap so he can keep me close to his chest while still mostly under the warm water. His hand running smooth circles over my back, while making a gentle shushing sound in my ear.

From the floor he reaches up and grabs the shampoo and starts washing my hair. His fingers diligent, making sure to coat every strand before rising and moving to my body wash. Again, his hands don’t linger longer than necessary. I close my eyes before I clasp my hand over his moving it over to my breast.

“Beth.” He hisses, his voice pained. Waiting a few more moments before opening my eyes and meeting his.

“Please, Bones.” I beg, not even caring that I sound desperate. I need him. In this moment I need him to be more than the brother he sees himself as. I need him to be a man. My man. I can’t lose myself again. I want to be free.

He shakes his head and my heart churns in my chest, stuttering before a harsh crack forms. “I can’t. Y-you, you’re vulnerable right now. Not in your right mind. I won’t take advantage of you.” He clarifies and I squeeze his hand, forcing it tighter around my large breast. He closes his eyes as if in pain. “It would be wrong.” He says though clenched teeth.

“Not if I want it. Want you. I need you, Bones.” I tell him. He stares at me, as if reading me like he always does. I’m not sure who moves first but our lips crash together, a moan escaping my mouth at the soft feel of his lips on mine. It’s even better than I imagined. His lips taste like barley and mint.

His free hand grips the back of my head, tangling in my wet strands in order to drag me deeper into him. My fingers sliding over his chest and up to his shoulders, moving my legs to straddle his lap, needing to feel more of him, to touch him. His hard cock pressing against the fly of his jeans. “Bones.” I moan as I grind down onto him.

“Fuck.” He groans, his hand sliding down my waist and down to my hips to help guide me. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful. Even broken you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He mumbles against my lips, his breath teasing my skin before nipping my lower lip.

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