There was something wary in his gaze. There always was. In a lot of ways, the rest of us had it easier. Our parents were a billion times more chill than Connor’s dad was, so we didn’t have to go home to face a man perpetually disappointed in him. But I watched him suck in a breath, his smile fragile.

“It’s all I ever wanted. I thought Finn would get over it, and then…” He reached out and took my hand, clinging to it like a drowning man. “Then once we’d spent time making shit up to you, Kendall, making clear how much we cared about you, then… Then we’d all be happy.”

“It’s not too late.” Van stared up at me as I sat there, straddling his lap. “You know that, right? We lost some time, but we can make up for that. In some ways, we’re in a much better position. We’re financially stable, secure, and you’ll never have to look at renting a place with a dunny in a shed.”

I found myself smiling despite myself, and he grinned right along with me, until I cupped his jaw in my hands. Van watched me all too closely as I dropped lower, my mouth hovering over his.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that a whole lot.”

Chapter 34

Van

“Well, you pricks can clean up the mess because I am perfect where I am.” Kendall’s brows creased slightly, and she tried to climb off my lap, but I held her where she was. I’d hold her forever if she let me, but I’d settle for right now. “They need to make amends and can start with this.”

“Righto, Blisters,” Connor snarked, returning to the kitchen to fill the mop bucket. “So is anyone gonna explain what happened here?”

Blisters was a nickname people got called because they came out once the work was done.

I wanted to bark at him to shut the fuck up. That didn’t matter, just this. Me reaching up, tangling my hands in her wet hair and then wrapping it around my fist as I dragged her mouth down.

Fuck. Yes.

I took my time because I had spent too many years dreaming about just this moment to rush shit. A little brush of my lips against hers, the quick flick of her tongue across them before I went back for more. The suck of her breath in through her nose as I kissed her properly, our lips fitting together like two puzzle pieces. That had me feeling more complete than I had… shit, ever. That was why I went back for more and more, kissing her harder, to feel her lips dimple under mine, her teeth press against all that softness, then to flick my tongue along the seam, wanting them to part.

Fuck yeah.

I didn't mean to tighten my hold on her, but something inside me would not be held back. I couldn’t let her go, let her even drag a breath in, not for a second. Because if I did, Kendall would slip through my fingers.

Just like she had when this all went down.

My guts had felt like they fell through the floor when we found out Kendall had gone. Her mother answered the door when we turned up with flowers and chocolates in hand, her lips thinning. She explained that Kendall had moved out and nothing we could say would have her revealing where our girl had gone. Because she didn’t know. That had come out some time later, delivered tersely, her eyes narrowing as she looked us up and down, making clear where she thought the blame lay.

But why? I’d asked that over and over until the guys made me shut up. A beer had been shoved into my hand as we sat in our new shitty apartment, cheap enough for four apprentices to share. We’d got drunk, seriously drunk, right up until Finn came home. He’d just looked us over, snorted, and then helped himself to the beer, telling us off for starting without him. The fact he hadn’t said a fucking thing about Kendall was what had me holding on too tight.

“Ow.”

Just a little protest, that’s all it took to bring my focus back to the here and now. I released Kendall’s hair instantly and smoothed it back from her face.

“Shit, sorry, I…” How did I tell her what was going on in my head? Just like this, I guessed. “I feel like if I let go, you’ll disappear.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She shifted on my lap, which made me groan. I was already sporting a sticky patch inside my pants where I’d blown hands free like a fucking kid, but my dick didn’t know when to stay down. It was hard and sitting right in the gap between her thighs, my pants the only barrier between us. I needed to slide my zipper down and then free it, pushing myself inside her while— “I mean I’m still trying to get my head around all this.” Her focus intensified as she gazed down at me. “You were going to ask me out that night?”

“If you’d got the apprenticeship, we had a celebration planned,” I told her. “If you didn’t, then we’d take you to the pub to drown your sorrows, and then…” My fingers traced the loose neckline of Gage’s shirt, tugging it down slightly to reveal more of her creamy flesh. “Then we’d tell you how we felt.”

Kendall went perfectly still, making me wonder if she wanted to hear this or not, but I was done holding back. It felt like my whole life had been spent waiting.

“That you were the only girl for us. That we’d never treat you like shit again. No pranks.” Her hand went to my hair, and I loved the rake of her fingers, the prickle on my scalp as she grabbed a handful. “Just pleasure.”

“Pleasure, huh…?”

She barely breathed that out, dropping her head down and kissing me this time. And wasn’t that fucking glorious? Kendall could choose me any fucking day of the week, and I’d come running, but right now I pulled against her grip, needing her mouth, her sighs, the way her hips rocked back and forth against me until something damp hit me in the face.

“The fuck…?”

I looked up, bleary eyed, to see Connor had tossed a wet cloth at my face, so I pegged it back at him. The prick was jealous as fuck, I could just see it, so I pressed another kiss to Kendall’s bare shoulder.

“You said you were cooking dinner tonight.”