Page 22 of Messing With My Brother's Best Friends

“Oh my god…” Barbie dropped her food, her hands flinging wide. “You could smear it on their shorts or jeans or whatever they wear to work.”

“Wouldn’t they see that?” I asked.

“Not if it’s on the bum of their shorts. Who inspects the butt of a clean pair of clothing?”

“Make it look like they shit their pants before turning up for work?” Alan chortled. “That’d be gold!” He nodded to himself, obviously reliving his glory days.

Barbie grabbed her phone and then tapped in a search query. “How about taping a harmonica to the underside of the car?”

“What the hell does that do?” I asked.

“Makes a wheezing sound each time it starts from the air travelling through it?” Alan grinned. “That’s definitely one you need to try.”

“Glad wrapping the toilet…” she read. “Nope, boys stand up to piss so they’ll see that. Oh yes! Get on their social media and change their relationship status to being in a poly relationship with each other.”

“How the hell am I going to do that?” I asked.

“Swipe one of their phones. They’re probably not even smart enough to have a screen lock on it. Jump on Insta and make an ‘announcement.’”

I didn’t want to laugh, I didn’t, but my lips twitched anyway. Probably because I could hear the sound of a million thirsty girls’ hearts breaking when they saw that post.

“Laxatives?”

“That seems potentially medically dangerous,” I said.

“Ohh, what about this!” She held out her phone for me to look at, and my eyes widened as I read the screen.

“Putting a beef stock cube in the shower head trick?”

“What?” Alan asked.

“You unscrew the head, put one of those stock cubes in there, and then when someone turns it on—” I said.

“It’s like they’re showering in bone broth!”

The glee on Barbie’s face was maniacal, right before she leapt to her feet and then went rummaging through their tiny pantry. She trotted back holding out a foil wrapped container of stock cubes. “You gotta do it, Kendall. Please, please, PLEASE. Do this for me if not for yourself.”

I just stared at the metallic red and gold wrapping, able to smell the savoury scent of the stock cubes and see clearly how it would play out. Gage or Van would step under the shower, ready to have a scrub, and then a stream of brownish liquid would hit them…

Pranks were dumb. If anyone knew that, it was me. I knew exactly what happened if things went too far, but… Part of me wanted to be the one to instigate terror rather than be on the receiving end all the time. I reached out and grabbed the package and shoved it into my pocket.

“OK, you’re on.”

“Tell me you’re gonna video it,” she said. “You have to record this for posterity…” Her eyes rolled up as she started to think. “Also, social media. You could install a spy cam and—”

“No social media,” Alan said.

“Oh my god, you are no fun!” she shot back.

“Never leave behind evidence of your crime. It can and will be used against you—”

“In a court of law,” she finished heavily. “Thanks Law and Order: Prank Squad.” Her focus shifted back to me. “But ring me, all right? Preferably when it happens. I wanna hear the screams.”

If she wasn’t my friend, I’d be low key terrified of her, but I just nodded and then collected my stuff, ready to head back home.

No, to their place.

I couldn’t think of it as home, ever. No place that contained them in it would ever be home for me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t have some fun in the meantime.

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