Page 8 of Shiner's Light

Again, he surprises me by even telling me anything.

“Right, well, can I have a shirt or something, maybe my pants as well? I need to get out of here and . . .”

“You aren’t going anywhere,” he snaps, interrupting me.

“Yes, I am,” I state, straightening my shoulders. “You can’t keep me here, and I don’t want to be here.”

Shiner leans in, getting nose to nose with me, his eyes narrowed.“Olive, you aren’t in any shape to fight me on this. You aren’t going anywhere. Now, do you need to go in the bathroom?”With him this close, I can smell the scent of toothpaste on his mouth, and I wish he would kiss me. I must be insane even to think such a thing after everything. But he’s what some would call my dream man. When it comes to him, I want everything I can possibly imagine him giving me.

Unfortunately, it’s not something I can allow myself to dream of now, even if I could. I’m dirty in ways no man would ever want to touch me again. Pain clenches at my chest with the thought. I shake my head in an attempt to shove the memories away. I don’t want him to know, and if he starts asking, he’ll probe me until I give in and tell him.

“Is that a shake of the head saying you don’t need to go or because of whatever it is rolling around in that head of yours?” he asks, causing me to clench my teeth and meet his gaze with what I hope is a ruthful glare.

“I can go to the bathroom all by myself,” I snap, tightening my grasp on the blanket covering me.

“Yeah, but I also know the extent of your injuries, and I’m making sure you get there without hurting yourself.” He doesn’t wait for me to say another word. Instead, he stands, scoops me and the bedding up in one go, and carries me to the attached bathroom. “I’m not going to stand in here with you while you do your thing, but don’t try to walk out of here,” he says, setting me on my feet and leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Slowly, I suck in a breath, look in the mirror over the sink, and wince at the sight of my face. It still looks as horrid as it did after they let me go. Without taking my gaze from the mirror, I release the blanket one finger at a time, letting it drop to the floor. The bites on my breast are still there, and staring at them, I can all but recall one of the men who hurt me, biting me while others laughed.

They enjoyed tormenting me. Terrorizing me.

“Olive,” Shiner calls out through the door, “you good in there?”

Clearing my throat, I break my gaze away. “Yes, Shiner, I’m fine. Just give me a minute.”

I do my best to push past the pain and do my business. I wash my hands and use some of Shiner’s toothpaste to brush my teeth with my finger. I give a longing look to the shower and wonder if he’ll leave me alone long enough to take a shower. After they set me free, I’d taken a quick one to clean myself up the best I could, but I still feel them on me. Their touch clawing at me. I want to feel clean. I need to feel clean.

Screw it, I’m getting in the shower. I step in the tub, reach forward, and turn the water on, then switch it to the shower before it’s even warm. It won’t take long for it to get hot . . . I hope.

“What the fuck, Olive?” Shiner demands, coming into the bathroom, eyes locking with mine, not once looking down. “You can’t be in there by yourself.”

“Yes, I can. I learned a long time ago how to take care of myself,” I mutter and turn away from him. I tilt my head to allow the water to rain down over my face.

“I’m not about to let you fall in there,” he snaps. Before I can ask him what he means by that, the curtain is yanked open, and he’s in the shower with me.

Whirling around to face him, I gawk at him with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” I demand.

“Ensuring you don’t hurt yourself,” he states, a determined to get his way look on his face.

“Why are you doing this? I’m not your responsibility.” I find myself uttering.

“We’ll discuss this shit later, honey, let’s just get this out of the way and get you rebandaged first.”

With skillful hands, Shiner takes care to wash my hair for me, he even shampoos it twice before properly conditioning it. He then uses a washcloth to cleanse my body, the whole time watching my face as he does so. There are plenty of times I thought nothing more than having him look at my naked body while we showered together, and this definitely isn’t how I expect . . . not that I knew this would happen.

God, I’m an idiot.

* * *

“You done being stubborn now?” Shiner asks an hour later.

Once he finished helping me get clean, and I have to admit, his assisting did help, but it didn’t mean I felt any less dirty. Though it took away some of the filth and instead seared me with his touch, even if it was through a cloth.

Shiner made sure my bandages were changed to fresh, clean ones and explained his cousin had put in some stitches in a few areas that needed them. He also gave me one of his T-shirts and a pair of panties he ripped out of a pack after telling me Chelsea and her friends had gone shopping for me. The club had even gone to my apartment, packed my shit, and took what was of value to his house while the rest went to the trash.

It wouldn’t have been much they saved then because I lived in a dump. Everything was second-hand or found at the curb. It was what I could afford at the time, and I didn’t want to be noticed.

“I’m not being stubborn,” I remark, leaning against the pile of pillows behind me Shiner had stacked.

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