Page 21 of The Omega Archives: Part One

Curled up on the couch, I was already three chapters into my new book and was already completely sucked in. Then the door slammed shut.

Rita had a very specific face when she felt guilty. It was as if I had kicked her puppy. Both shocked and horrified.

I tried to keep my face from crumpling.

“I’m sorry, Ella,” she said.

“It’s fine.”

“You and I both know it isn’t.” Rita’s forehead creased as she reached out to take my hand.

I pulled mine away, lacing my hands together for some sort of contact, but I couldn’t touch her. If I touched her, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to let go.

The constant desire to touch was an omega tendency, I knew. I was touch starved. The need for physical touch was one of the largest I’ve had to shove down. Deep down.

“I’ll figure it out,” I said. “It’s not a big deal.”

“I hate to say this...”

“Then don’t.” Because I also knew what she was about to say now. At this rate, I felt like we were having this conversation more and more often. Every month turned into every week.

I couldn’t go a day without Rita bringing up the one thing I tried to avoid. The one thing I didn’t even want to think about but was forced to every day.

Still, Rita shook her head.

“Your omega designation does not have to be the be-all and end-all," she tried to impress upon me. She wasn’t going to get far. "I know you’re scared.”

Scared?

“You still don’t get it.” I looked away, shutting my book before I remembered to mark the page I left off on. I growled down at the pages.

Growled.

I was getting too comfortable, but I knew betas didn’t growl. Even omegas didn’t… at least not often.

Not unless they felt threatened.

Rita’s light spice and floral scent was faint, but enough for me to smell clearly as she twisted her long hair to the side.

“I know.” She sighed, sitting on the edge of the couch cushion. “I’m sorry for keeping on this. You know I just worry about you. I can see that you’re working yourself into the ground at the library to keep up with the price of your… medication and everything else. There are more studies about the side effects of what you’ve been doing for the past, what, seven years, too? They all keep talking in the journals about how bad those suppressants are long term...”

“I know it isn’t the best option.”

But it was better than what could’ve been- What still could be if I didn’t continue to keep myself safe.

“You’re getting older, Ella. How long do you think you can keep this up? It can’t be that bad. Beingan omegaisn’t that bad. I know you said from growing up that things weren’t the best for your situation, but here, everyone has options. You’re safe. I’d make sure of it.”

“No, Rita.”

“You could go and register with the Omega Haven right in the city. They could help you find better housing and get you on a food plan to take care of yourself. Or, you’re still only twenty-two. They would probably send you to school and everything until… They could even find you an alpha whether or not you ever do have a heat.”

A heat.

“I know you came from a bad past when it comes to things like that. But if something was going to happen– if someone was going to ever come looking for you from the town you left over seven years ago, don’t you think they would’ve by now? Didn’t you once say that your brother got you out of there because he wanted you to live and have everything this world could offer you? You don’t need the suppressants and the blockers anymore that are probably literally killing you, Ella. Omegas get opportunities. They do. They get the entire world from travel and jewels and comfort in the best cases. They get all the things they need, and I know you want but are afraid to admit to. You don’t even have a proper nest!”

I flinched.

I didn’t have a proper nest. I had my mattress situated on the floor surrounded by pillows I’d slowly accumulated over the years, but no, I didn’t have a nest. Because I was a broken omega?

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