Page 32 of Ivory Oath

Eventually, she scoops him up and carries Dante towards the house. Her arms shake and her legs are wobbly, but it’s like she’s afraid she’ll lose him again if she puts him down.

I trail behind them, an outsider to their reunion. I’m just as responsible as Trofim for all of this.

By the time Viviana carries Dante inside, her face is pale. He’s in her ear moving seamlessly from talking about the movie he watched last night to the game he played with Anatoly this morning with no signs of slowing down. As much as I know Viviana wants to be with him, I also know she needs to rest.

I pat Dante’s hair. “It’s time for you to head to school.”

He ducks away from me and squeezes Viviana tighter. He lays his head on her shoulder. “I don’t want to go today. I want to talk to Mama.” He looks up at her, his puppy-dog eyes lethal. “Can I skip school today, Mama?”

She kisses his forehead. “Your dad is right. You should go to school. I need to go lie down for a little while. I’m tired.”

“I’ll sleep, too!” he chimes. “I’m tired.”

Viviana tickles his side and laughs. “Liar. Every time we try to take a nap together, you end up burrowing under the blankets like a mole or kicking me in the back until I get up. You hate nap time.”

He smirks guiltily. After a few more clumsy attempts at persuasion, he lets Anatoly lead him to the makeshift schoolroom we’ve set up in the formal dining room.

As soon as Dante is out of sight, Viviana leans against the wall. “Thanks.”

“You looked like you needed a break.”

“I missed him so much. Was he okay while I was…?” She doesn’t try to finish that sentence.

Exiled? Kidnapped? Imprisoned?

How do I tell her that she can’t go into Dante’s room until I get a chance to replace his bedside table and half of the clothes in his closet because he shredded through them like a wild animal? I should have been there for him, but I was too lost in my own haze of missing her.

That’s what it was, wasn’t it? I missed her?

There isn’t any good way to tell her any of that. Instead, I say, “He’s happy you’re back.”

Viviana is suspicious, but she’s too tired to push it. She’s almost too tired to stand up. She makes it up two steps before her knuckles are white on the handrail and she’s breathing heavily.

“I can help you.”

Viviana waves me away. “That’s okay. I just need a second to catch my breath.”

But I slide a hand under her knees and one arm around her back. I scoop her up easily and carry her up the stairs.

“Or you can carry me,” she mutters, annoyed. That doesn’t stop her from leaning into my chest.

She gives me all of her weight and I don’t want to put her down at the top of the stairs. I carry her all the way down the hallway.

As we pass her room, Viviana starts to say something, but I shake my head. “You’re staying in my room.”

She’ll be more comfortable there, I tell myself. This isn’t because I need her in my bed.

Then I walk her through my bedroom door and all I can think about is closing the door, locking it, and never letting either of us out again. It’ll be easy to take care of her in here.

I let go of her reluctantly, lowering her to the edge of the bed. My hands linger on the warm skin behind her knees and the curve of her waist.

“I would be fine in my room,” she mumbles, even as she curls her legs underneath her and slides her feet under my sheets.

She’s here. Home.

For the first time in days, there’s no buzzing under my skin. That circuit inside of me is closed, complete. The ache to follow her onto the bed and spread her across the mattress is deep and unrelenting.

“I don’t want you to be fine, Viviana.” I spin around and grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt out of my dresser before I can do something stupid. “I want you to be perfect.”

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