Page 157 of Ivory Oath

Mikhail’s eyes darken, but I see the moment he realizes what I’m doing. When he does, he turns away from me and starts pacing again. “You need time to heal.”

“There’s nothing to heal,” I whimper, slumping deeper under the scratchy blanket. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just pacing around this room as a way to procrastinate.”

Mikhail hesitates long enough that I know I struck a nerve.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I didn’t?—”

“No.” He drops down into the armchair next to my bed. “You’re right. I’m not exactly thrilled about what I have to do.”

“Giving up the Bratva?” I guess, steeling myself for the answer.

I worried Mikhail might regret choosing me, but I didn’t think it would happen quite this fast.

“What comes with it,” he corrects, his elbows resting on his knees. “The danger it puts you and Dante and—our baby girl in.”

The knot of anxiety in my chest loosens, but doesn’t disappear. With the life I’ve lived, I’m not sure it will ever fully go away. “You have a plan, then?”

“I do. It’s…” He chuckles humorlessly and drags a hand over his neck. “It’s fucking crazy. People are going to think I’ve lost my mind.”

“Have you?”

Mikhail’s blue eyes find mine and hold. He bridges the space between us without moving a muscle. I feel him inside of my head, my heart. The connection between us is a tangible thing. I hope it never goes away.

“No,” he says firmly. “This is the most certain I’ve felt about a decision in a long time. I know I’m doing the right thing. But I’m not used to putting my trust in other people.”

I sit up tall. “Who are you putting trust in? What kind of trust?”

Will they hurt you? Will you be safe?

Now, Mikhail really does bridge the space between us. He leans forward and takes my hand. I don’t realize how cold my fingers are until they’re curled against his. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you, but the less you know now, the safer you’ll be.”

“Mikhail, if this is dangerous, then it isn’t worth it. Nothing is worth your safety.”

“You are,” he fires back. “Dante is. The future we’re working towards is worth my safety.”

“But it’s not the future I want if you’re not in it!” I cry. Tears spill over my cheeks and I swipe them away. “God, I’m tired of crying. It feels like it’s all I do anymore.”

Mikhail brushes my tears away. “Hormones.”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “Hormones and… I’ve been here before. Kind of. With Matteo.”

Mikhail doesn’t say anything. He just holds my hand tighter, waiting.

“I was just a kid, but, at the time, I really loved him. I thought we could overcome anything—anyone. I took a risk and tried to escape the world I was born into. I tried to run away and live out my fantasy with Matteo. Then my father murdered him in front of me.”

“I’m not scared of your father, Viviana,” he says gently.

“Maybe you should be. You’re going to have to face him at some point, right? He’s mixed up in all of this. And he knows how much you mean to me, Mikhail. If there was ever a way for my dad to use up all of his anger and get back at me, hurting you would be it. He’ll take a shot if you give him one.”

“Then I won’t give him one.” He kisses my knuckles. “I’ll be careful.”

I bite my lower lip and nod, trying hard to blink back tears. “You mean everything to me, Mikhail. Absolutely every?—”

The words choke off in a sob.

Suddenly, my scratchy blanket is gone and Mikhail is sliding into bed next to me. He curls his warm body around mine, enveloping me until I can’t move in the best imaginable way. “I’ll do absolutely everything I can to be safe,” he whispers against my temple. “Getting home to you and Dante is the only thing that matters to me.”

I press my forehead to his chest and breathe deeply. I sync my breaths with his. I count seconds to the rhythmic thump of his heart.

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