Page 117 of Ivory Oath

Raoul hesitates before relenting. “Or they’re lying to me. Yeah. It could be someone on the inside feeding information to the feds.”

Bright light slices across the driveway and we both look over as the front door opens. Viviana is in the doorway, Anatoly standing just over her shoulder. They’re both squinting into the darkness towards the car.

“Anatoly lied about taking Viviana to the clinic, but he’s loyal,” Raoul says quietly. “He had nothing to do with this.”

“I know.” I knew it when I charged into the kitchen two days ago and accused Viviana of having an affair. I didn’t really believe either of them would do that to me. “I’m just fucking tired. I want to be able to trust the people around me.”

Raoul doesn’t go near that confession and I don’t blame him. We aren’t in the habit of sharing our feelings. But it’s late and I have half a mind to scoop Viviana and Dante up and drive straight back to that cabin in the woods. I wouldn’t mind burying my head in the dirt for a while. Maybe forever.

Fuck the Bratva.

Fuck this war.

Fuck everything that isn’t the three—soon to be four—of us.

Suddenly, Dante shoves between Viviana and Anatoly. He has one hand on the doorframe, swinging out into the dark looking for me.

I can’t hide from what’s coming. I don’t want to.

Viviana and Dante spent years on the run and I won’t do that to them again.

Dante bounds down the porch the second my car door opens. “Where were you for so long?” He jumps, trusting me to catch him. I do, balancing him in the crook of my arm. My wrist is still sore from the cuffs, but my sleeves are long and Dante can’t see the bruising. “Mama said you’d come back, but it took forever and ever and ever and?—”

“I just had to take care of some things, but I’m back now.”

He narrows his eyes. “Forever?”

I can’t promise him forever.

I want to tell him that I’ll always be here for him, but I’m not sure that’s a promise I can keep. Not when the Greeks and Italians are teaming up to take me down. Not when they might have help from someone I consider an ally.

There are a million things I don’t know, but one thing I know for sure: Dante doesn’t need me to be honest with him right now.

“Forever,” I tell him solemnly, tickling his side. “I’ll always be around.”

He hugs my neck and, all at once, I understand why Viviana didn’t tell me about the baby. It was easier to keep the secret until she was sure. It was easier to lie than to live with disappointing me again.

The problem is, I’m the one who should be protecting her.

Dante runs off to talk to Raoul, peppering him with questions about where we were and if there were bad guys.

“The only bad guy there was me,” Raoul chimes in.

Dante laughs and Raoul looks more than a little annoyed that Dante thought it was a joke.

Suddenly, the scent of vanilla and honey wraps around me. After two days of burnt coffee and dust, Viviana smells like heaven.

“I didn’t tell him where you were,” Viviana whispers. She starts to reach for me, but tucks her arms around herself instead like she isn’t sure whether she’s allowed to touch me or not. “I didn’t want to scare him.”

I grab her wrist, unpeel her arm from her waist, and tuck it around me. She sinks against my chest with a dreamy sigh. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I grab her chin and tilt her face up to mine. There are purple shadows pressed under her eyes, which are red-rimmed like she’s been crying. “And I’m happy about the baby.”

“You are?” Her eyes are glassy again.

“We were trying for a baby,” I remind her. “We both wanted this. Of course I’m happy.”

No matter how fucked the timing is.

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