“Even if that was true, it’s not a good enough reason to have another baby.”
The last thing I need is one more person who is counting on me to take care of them. I can try to play this game as long as I can—toe the line, do what is expected of me. But if Mikhail ever finds out what I’ve done, I’ll be just like Trofim: a memory and a pile of ash.
32
VIVIANA
Faces float out of the darkness like steam. Clouds that form and fade away before I can reach them.
Mikhail.
Trofim.
My father.
Matteo.
I sprint away from them, running until my lungs feel like they’re going to burst. Every turn I take, another face blocks my path. No matter which way I run, I can’t escape.
“Viviana.” A chorus of voices calls from the darkness. “Viviana.”
I clap my hands over my ears, but the sound isn’t coming from the room around me. It’s in my head.
Then I hear Dante’s voice.
“Mama?”
I open my eyes and he’s standing in front of me in his favorite superhero cape. I smile and wave, but he looks right through me.
“Dante?” I kneel down and open my arms to him. “I’m right here.”
He spins in a circle, eyes searching the darkness. “Mama?”
“I’m right here. Dante! I’m right?—”
Strong hands grip my shoulders, dragging me back into even deeper shadow. I try to stay where I am, but there’s nothing to hold onto.
“Dante!” I scream as the voices call my name. As countless hands grab onto my clothes and my skin, tearing and ripping at me.
But Dante fades into the darkness.
I spin around and ghostly pale faces float above me. Trofim sneers. Matteo is weeping blood, red and thick down his cheeks. My father scowls at me.
Then they launch themselves at me.
I scream, thrashing back and forth to get free.
Then I hear my name again. This time, the voice is a deep, soothing rumble.
“I’ve got you, Viviana.”
Strong hands slide under my shoulder blades and lift me out of bed.
“Put me down,” I mumble, still fighting weakly.
I’m so tired that I don’t realize what is happening until I’m curled against a warm chest, the smell of mint and cedar wrapped around me.
I blink my eyes open. “Mikhail?”