Page 59 of Ivory Ashes

“Bad dreams are the worst.”

“You get bad dreams, too?” Dante asks.

Mikhail nods. Somehow, that simple movement sends muscles in his back flexing and shifting. “Everyone gets bad dreams.”

“What are your bad dreams about?”

Mikhail hesitates for only a second before he answers. “About not being able to save the people I love.”

Who does Mikhail love? Anatoly and Raoul probably. Maybe Dante. It’s only been a few days, but he’s an easy kid to love.

I twist my wedding ring around my finger and smother the naive little voice that thinks I might be somewhere on that list.

Dante sighs. “Mine was about being chased by a dinosaur.”

“Was it a big one?”

“The biggest.” Dante shudders. He looks tiny tucked into the full-sized bed. “His foot was as big as your house.”

Mikhail winces. “That doesn’t sound good. Did he squish anybody?”

Dante chews on his lower lip and looks up at me. His chin dimples. “Mama.”

I kneel next to Mikhail and grab Dante’s other hand. I curl his fingers against my cheek. “I’m okay, baby. I’m right here.”

“The dinosaur chased you and I didn’t run after you. I was too scared. I—” He devolves into another round of tears.

“You couldn’t save the person you love, either,” Mikhail finishes. He pats his leg. “But that was just in a dream. In real life, you’re brave.”

“No, I’m scared,” Dante argues.

“Of course you are. You have to be scared to be brave.”

Dante looks at me, eyebrows raised like, This guy is crazy, right? But I stay quiet. I want to hear where Mikhail is going with this.

“If you aren’t scared, then fighting a dinosaur isn’t brave. It’s just something you’re doing. Just another normal day in your life. But overcoming your fear,” Mikhail says, his large thumb rubbing over Dante’s knuckles, “that makes you brave.”

Dante frowns. “I guess so.”

“‘I guess so’ isn’t good enough. I need you to know it. I’m going to test you. Are you ready?”

Dante sits tall, nodding. “I’m ready.”

“If you want to be brave, you have to be…”

“Scared!” Dante answers.

Mikhail smiles. “And when you’re scared, you have to be…”

“Brave!”

He holds up his hand for a high-five, but Dante pushes right past it and wraps his arms around Mikhail’s neck.

I’m pretty sure my heart stops.

I ran from Mikhail for years, terrified of what would happen if he ever caught up to us. But occasionally, when I let myself imagine the best-case scenario… I imagined this.

Dante having a real relationship with his dad. His dad wanting a relationship with him.

---