Page 11 of Fluffing the Stallion

“I want to own and operate my own wellness center. Not just a gym, but I want to have nutritionists and trainers to help people live a healthier lifestyle. People think if you go to the gym, you can eat like shit and not worry about your health. I want the two to tie together. Healthy eating habits with exercise. Some people don’t have those resources and don’t know where to start. I want to bridge that gap.” I realize it’s the most I’ve said to him at one time and clamp my mouth shut. I don’t want him to think I’m some weirdo that’s obsessed with the gym.

While that’s part of it, an even bigger part of it is creating a safe space for people to work out and get guidance on how to eat right without doing crash diets. I see it so often, people who are considered overweight not eating as they should and working out too hard just to lose a pound or two. Then gain it right back when the diet is over. The opposite is true as well—naturally thin people eating things that aren’t good for their bodies, thinking because they don’t gain weight, they’re not unhealthy.

I want people to not only be comfortable in their skin and workout at their own pace. I want them to think of my wellness center as somewhere they can go to get the help and advice they need to live healthier.

Not that I equate weight with health. The two don’t go hand in hand. That’s another thing I’d like to get across to people who venture to my hypothetical wellness center.

Yuri glances at me, seemingly impressed. “I can tell you like the gym, what with your body looking like that, but I didn’t know you had loftier aspirations.” I duck my head, feeling a little on the spot. “That’s a good thing.”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “What about you? Are you in school?”

He shakes his head. “No. It wasn’t my path.”

“Is porn your path?”

I’m not sure if I fucked up or not. Yuri’s friendly expression drops and he gives me a sidelong glance. “Is that a problem if it was?”

“What? No! Of course not. Sex work isn’t wrong. It’s a choice you made and as a consenting adult, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

He glances at me once more. “Would you date a sex worker?”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “No. Definitely not.” Imagine me, catching the eye of someone that can have anyone they want and being enough for a man that gets all kinds of sex on a regular basis. I’m so plain and ordinary, I’d bore them to tears. Yeah, someone involved in sex work will know they can do better than someone like me. Especially someone like Yuri. Me and my virgin asshole wouldn’t be able to take half the cock Yuri has. Someone like Bailey that can bottom with the best of them would be a better choice.

My brain stutters at my train of thought. At no point in my rambling, incoherent thoughts did I think of a sex worker objectively. I exclusively thought of Yuri. My mind immediately went to him being the person I would be with if I had the shot. I am so fucking gone on him and this is our first real conversation. I’m in deep without meaning to be.

Yuri’s jaw ticks and he opens his mouth and shuts it. He does it twice more, then shakes his head.

Maybe I should clarify. It’s my turn to open my mouth, but Yuri cuts me off. “You said there’s nothing wrong with sex work, but you wouldn’t date a sex worker? That’s a bit rich, don’t you think? Since technically, you’re a sex worker now too.”

I stare at him, stunned by how hard his voice is. Even when he was talking about Trev—who he told me he damn near hated—he didn’t take on this hard edge.

Head reeling a little, I shake my head and say, “What I mean is, a sex worker wouldn’t want to date me. I mean, look at me. I have a good body, but what else could I offer them that someone they work with can’t do better?” I’m definitely talking about Yuri now. “I mean, they get laid at work. What could I do, besides look pretty? And I’m not even that pretty, if I’m being honest.” I sit back further into my seat, feeling dejected from not being able to be enough for a hypothetical relationship with Yuri.

But that’s all I do for Yuri—stand there and look pretty. He fucks gorgeous men, but only stares at me. We’re so incompatible, it’s smacking me in the face.

“What do you mean, look at you? I do, a few times a week. You’re fucking hot. And you can offer more than your body, Clay. You’re more than that. Even just talking to you for a few minutes, I can tell. Other performers have substance to them, so they’re not complete airheads, but I don’t want to get to know them. I want to get to know you.”

“Yeah?” I ask, whipping my head around to look at him. Then I say something foolish. “Is that why you only want to stare at my ass all day and let me jerk your dick off, but not ask me out? Because I have so much to offer and you want to get to know me?”

Yuri looks at me as he turns into the parking lot of the studio. “Clay?—”

Scrubbing my hand down my face, I shake my head and cut him off. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. That was out of line.” When Yuri continues to stare at me as if I’ve grown too heads, I shake my head and grab the door handle. “Come on. Let’s get started.”

I hop out of Yuri’s car before he can say more. I’ve said enough for both of us.

six

YURI

Iwasn’t expecting that outburst from Clay. Honestly, I thought I was trying to convince myself that Clay had a thing for me. I’d flirt and smile at him, loving to get him flustered, but I didn’t think he wanted me to ask him out.

Clay wanted me to ask him out? Fuck, I missed those signs big time.

Climbing out of my car, I take off after him, grabbing his arm just before he gets to the door of the studio. Clay’s shoulders slump, but he doesn’t snatch his arm away. “We have to get in there,” he says, inclining his head to the door.

“Fuck that. We need to talk. They can wait. You can’t.” I pull him over to the side of the building, pressing his body against the wall and caging him in. I’m taking a gamble, standing this close to him, but he asked why I didn’t ask him out. I’m hoping he won’t mind the proximity.

“Yuri …” he says softly, looking at me with pleading eyes.

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