Page 51 of The Kingdom of Ruin

I shoulder past them, relieved when I reach the stairs, but the intense glares from the wolves in the communal area latch onto me, confirming that the news has already begun to spread.

Great. That’s fucking great.

I don’t know how I make it up to my room without another interruption, but I slam the door shut behind me, leaning against it as I take a deep breath.

Everything is fucked.

Not just for me, but also for Addi. My gut twists with the reality that it’s my fault. I’m the reason this mess is unraveling. I can try to blame Brody over and over again, but really, I still let it happen.

Usually, I wouldn’t care what ramifications others would face because of my actions, but for some reason, this feels different. Maybe it’s because her sweet scent still lingers along my skin. Thoughts of her plague my mind despite my best efforts to squash them all down.

Fuck.

This isn’t me, and I can’t start acting like I give a shit now.

I need to sleep, get her out of my damn head, and tomorrow will be fine. It has to be. I refuse to accept anything else.

TWENTY-FOUR

ADDI

Irun my hands down my sides as I take a deep breath before swooping open my bedroom door and slamming it shut behind me.

There. I’m out of those goddamn four walls, and I’m not going back until I’m exhausted down to the bone.

Peering down at my bodice, I count the daggers at my waist, taking another deep breath before I descend the stairs. I’ve forgone the cloak, black or gray. There’s no point hiding my daggers at this stage. Hopefully, if people see them it might keep them at arm's length.

I spent the entirety of yesterday hiding out in my room, going crazy so I didn’t have to run into anyone, but I can’t do that again today. I won’t survive it.

Slipping from the house without running into anyone, I take off straight into a jog, eager to feel the breeze whip against my skin as I work my muscles.

Friday night was something else. I still can’t wrap my head around how everything escalated so quickly. I signed up for a date in order to get Brody to strengthen the ward on my room. I thought I had the upper hand on him because there was no way he was getting in my pants no matter how much he hoped. Now I’m wondering if that would have been a better option, and I still don’t actually know the consequences that are due to come my way.

A duel. A fucking wolf duel. Despite hiding away in my room, I didn’t opt to hide away from the facts as well. I spent hours researching a wolf's duel and everything it entails.

My face scrunches with the fury that simmers in my veins at the thought of it as I run down the more secluded campus pathways.

I’m lucky Leticia didn’t kill me. I’m adamant that’s a testament to my strength, but my gut twists knowing there was a hint of luck in there, too. A duel among wolves over another wolf is sacred—fucking sacred—and Cassian just let it happen.

The moment Leticia tapped out, she practically joined me to Cassian without a word being spoken. He can fuck who he wants and do what he wants, but if he wants a relationship with anyone, they have to defeat me in a duel. It will come eventually, I assume. Mating and bonding is huge within the wolf community. So there’s definitely going to be another battle on my hands.

Yay.

Despite my competitive nature and constant desire to win, I eventually came to the decision that when that happens, I’ll tap the fuck out before it even begins. They can have him. They can preferably take him as far away from me as possible while they’re at it. I’ll be gracious in defeat, but my soul knows that it really won’t be as simple as that. I’m a fae; people will likely challenge me just to have the opportunity to kill me, and I get the feeling many are going to try.

Fuck.

Shaking my head, I try to compartmentalize the thoughts that are taking over my head. I can’t go back down this path again. I’m strong, resilient, and determined. No matter what is thrown my way, I will overcome it.

With a deep exhale, I focus on my breathing as I put one foot in front of the other. My heart pounds, my body warming, and I relish the effect running has on my limbs. All too soon, I approach the pathway where the fallen log rests, where I first saw Raiden and Cassian. My pulse thuds in my ears, making me tense as I try to wrap my head around my emotions.

It should be a relief that no one is out here, but I can’t seem to dismiss the sense of disappointment that cascades over me. My lips purse with distaste at the reality. Despite the horrors of Friday night and the mess they’ve dragged me into, I’m still drawn to them. Not like a moth to a flame. No. That would be too nice. More like a lamb led to the slaughterhouse.

I’m the lamb. The fucking lamb…and they’re one huge cluster fuck of a slaughterhouse, ready to dismember me one piece at a time.

Rounding back toward the origin buildings, I consider going around again but opt against it since it hasn’t done much to clear my thoughts. Perspiration clings to my skin as I step inside and slip up the stairs before anyone sees me.

I’m going to have the best shower in existence, then find something to watch on television to distract myself. Or maybe I should do some yoga first? I’m not sure.

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