Page 55 of A Very Monstrous Desire

“What was that?” Theo whispered as an echo of that strange, horrible happiness filled him. It had been…wrong. “What’s happened to me?”

Baku held him close still, reassuring himself that Theo was well. After a few moments he lifted them both back up and quickly moved them away from commotion nearby, practically dragging Theo along with him as Theo tried to right himself. The mini monsters watched them go, contenting themselves with the flesh of the rage for now.

“The rage feeds on your sorrow, any and all that you have experienced in your life, and it takes it all from you,” Baku said as they wound their way back through the trees. He shook his head. “And it is not just the sorrow. It is any negative emotion you have ever experienced. It takes it all.”

“That’s a good thing,” Theo said as he paused next to a large tree. A small, golden bird snapped at him. Except…it wasn’t, was it, it had felt wrong.

“No, Theo, it is not,” Baku said. He snapped a branch off the tree and held it to Theo’s mouth. Theo drank the water direct from it, not even questioning the action. Baku approved of that, and Theo realised that his monster was angry though Theo knew the anger was not directed at him. He was also covered in quite a bit of blood. “A person cannot live their life in a state of absolute happiness,” he added. “It is unbalanced.”

“Once it took what it needed…”

“The happiness would fade,” Baku said. “It would then leave you to find your negative thoughts once more, would encourage them even, and each time it would be more and more painful. It would keep you that way until you could take no more, Theo, and then it would consume you completely.”

“How…” Theo began but he did not need to continue. It was obvious what the rage would do to encourage more negative emotions. He closed his eyes as he imagined those teeth and those claws... “You saved me.”

“It is becoming a habit,” Baku said. “One I would rather not have.”

“The other rages?”

“Dead.” He growled. “All but the younger one. That one seemed to disappear.” He growled again. “And it took longer than I expected, and I only just avoided their sorrow myself. My people seem to have a bit more tolerance than yours.”

“They did this to your people?” Theo realised. “That’s why you left Europe?”

“Yes,” Baku said. “To millions of us. I will not let them have you though,” he said, and he held Theo close to him again. “Not the creepers, not the rages, and not the nightmares. You are mine, Theo. Only mine.”

Theo sucked in a deep breath as he pressed closer to his monster. The feel of the rage around him…its screams flooding Theo’s face…the pain of it… Theo shivered. It had been one of the worst experiences of his life. And yet, he was okay. He was alive and he was almost in one piece. Had Baku been right all along? Was Theo a natural adventurer? Was he built for this?

“I thought it was all over for me,” he said slowly. “Again.”

“I am sorry, Theo. So sorry.”

“No, but…” Theo shook his head. “That keeps happening, doesn’t it? Here in this dimension.”

How many times had he nearly died during the few days he had been here?

The pincer monster.

The matriarchal spider.

The young rage.

The older one.

The creepers.

Hell, even those silver tree insects probably would have had a go given the chance!

This dimension was nothing but danger, Theo thought. But then he looked across at Baku and realised that was not entirely true. It was desire as well. Dimensions of danger and desire, and if that didn’t sum the whole damn thing up, Theo didn’t think anything else would!

“But I keep fighting back. And I keep surviving,” added after a moment. “We keep surviving.”

“Together,” the monster agreed.

“Yes.”

They pulled apart. Theo tried to right himself. It was starting to get dark, the afternoon running away from them, and they still had a job to do, the very reason they were in the forest in the first place. Suddenly, Theo began to think he could do that job. He really could stop the queen and save this little part of both worlds from the infestation.

“Look at me,” Baku said after a moment and Theo did. “I will always save you, Theo. Just as you will always save me.”

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