Page 87 of Tell Me Again

I don’t know how much you heard earlier or how much I actually managed to say, but here’s the reason I have to leave: Brenna needs me to take her home. She’s one of my best friends, and she’s struggling emotionally now because of me—because I screwed up. She needs to get back to Omaha, and she’s not comfortable driving herself right now. If it was anyone other than Brenna, I swear I wouldn’t go. But she needs me to do this, and I have to be there for her. That’s the only reason I’m leaving. The ONLY reason.

I promise you this, Coop—I’ll be back as soon as I possibly can. Every minute away from you is a minute too long. I will not abandon you. I will not mess this up. I can’t. I love you too much to let that happen again.

I’m so, so sorry, and I hope you’ve read this far and that you believe me. I know I screwed up ten years ago. And I’m promising you now, again, that I will NOT do that a second time.

I’ll call you when I get to Omaha, hopefully before your break is over. I hope you answer, because I already miss you.

Love always,

Josh

Fuck. I mean . . . fuck.

I close the card, and I swear I’m not fucking crying. Really.

“Coop, are you okay?” Clara is still right next to me, and fuck, everyone in the whole dining room is probably watching. Shit.

I nod quickly and clear my throat as I blink to keep the tears from falling. I’m not gonna fucking cry. My heart is about to burst, though, and my hands are trembling, making it hard for me to put the card back in the envelope.

“Yeah, I’m... fine. I’m fine. I’m—what time is it?”

“Almost two,” Clara says softly.

And I nod again. Then, because I am fucking crying, I wipe the tears off my cheeks before I turn back around, keeping my head down. “Thanks, Kate. I, um, appreciate this. A lot.”

“Of course, Coop. Have a great day,” Kate says, and then she’s gone.

The dining room is still too quiet, and I’m not sure what to do now, except that I can’t leave the flowers sitting here on the counter.

“Fuck, he bought me flowers.” I don’t mean to say the words out loud, but I do it anyway, and there’s quiet laughter next to me.

“They’re beautiful,” Clara whispers with some sort of wistful sigh. She pats me on the arm and then disappears back into the kitchen.

I’m still standing there staring at them when Mel steps up to my side. I glance over at her, and she’s looking up at me with eyes that remind me so much of my mom for just this brief flicker of a moment. Then she arches her eyebrows.

“Thought I told you to get back to work,” she says, and I think she’s trying to be all stern, but her voice cracks a little. And then she blinks, like I had a moment before, and I fucking swear her eyes are glistening.

I cough, and my fingers fiddle with the card in my hands. “Yeah. Of course. Um, sorry for the disruption.”

There’s a laugh—her normal grumpy laugh—and then she does this thing she’s never done before where she wraps one arm around my waist and gives me a half sort of side hug. And fuck, I’m crying again.

“The flowers are nice, but get them the fuck off my counter and get back to work or you’re fuckin’ fired,” she says. “Your break isn’t for another ten minutes, and you’ve got tables waiting.”

I close my eyes as some emotional laugh or something escapes me. Then I’m sniffling and wiping another tear off my cheek. Shit. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

Mel spins around and is gone, and I’m left there, wondering what the fuck I should do now. I glance back down at the card in my hands.

Every minute away from you is a minute too long.

God. My heart aches. I miss him so fucking much. Every minute is a minute too long.

It’s all so overwhelming—all of yesterday and then this morning, now red roses and I love yous. I don’t know what I’m going to do when he calls, but I do know that I need to hear his voice. And I need to hear him tell me again...

I’ve got another ten minutes before my break, and there’s no more room for flailing around. I slip the card into the back pocket of my jeans and then carefully lift the vase and carry it through the kitchen into the empty office.

And I get back to work.

Chapter Thirty-Two

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