Page 85 of Tell Me Again

“Thanks.”

The lunch rush is almost over, but I’m not sure I’m going to have a job at the end of my shift today. Mel’s summoning is probably to tell me just that. I’ve definitely fucked up too many times to count, and it stopped being amusing about an hour ago, when I dropped an entire tray filled with plates and drinks as I was on my way out into the dining room.

It’s fucking bad. I’m a total mess.

And it’s even more shitty because it’s Friday, and I’ve always really, really counted on Fridays to bring in good tip money. This morning was great, but after that, not so much. And now, I’m pretty sure I’m fucked.

I try to stop the string of curses running through my head as I turn and make my way to Mel’s office. She’s sitting at her desk and rifling through a drawer, but she stops when I enter.

“Shut the door and sit.”

Shit, she’s actually angry. Her tone gives that away.

I nod and then do as she says, closing the door and taking the seat across from her. She’s quiet for a minute, and when I finally bring myself to look up, she’s watching me with some concerned expression. I look away again.

“I have to go out of town next week. Monday and Tuesday,” Mel says. “Clara’s going to cover mornings and the early afternoon, but we’re going to have to close at about two for both of those days. She can’t handle a full day plus all the dinner prep.”

Chuck had swapped shifts with me for those days since he’s got some appointments or something, so I’m scheduled to work both of those nights next week, and Mel knows it. Also, what the fuck? I can’t remember the last time the diner had any sort of unscheduled closure.

I look up, and she’s still watching me, but I can’t read her expression anymore. “Is everything okay?”

“Fuck no.” Mel laughs, but it’s almost sardonic. She leans back in her chair, shaking her head. “My fucking brother went and got himself arrested for god knows what. Illegal possession of a firearm or some shit. And his wife, Laney, was just hospitalized because of pneumonia. My sister’s there, but, ah, fuck, I’m not even sure. I’ve gotta go help. There’s some hearing, and they’re hoping I can help get Dan out on bail or something and make sure Laney’s okay. It’s the whole fucking mess I’ve been dealing with since last week. I was hoping everything could get taken care of over the phone, but I guess I’m not that fucking lucky.”

Fuck. No wonder Mel’s been in a mood.

She’s paused for a moment and is sitting forward in her chair now. Her brow furrows. “I know that’s going to affect your shifts on Monday and Tuesday, so I needed to give you a heads up on that.”

Well, I guess at least I’m not getting fired? But I really, really need those shifts.

Mel’s still watching me, and she’s scowling now—her normal expression. It’s almost comforting.

“I can do the morning shifts—”

“I tried that already. Chuck won’t give up either of his shifts. I asked him earlier,” she cuts in.

“Right, okay.” Wonderful. Just icing on the fucking cake. “Um, anything else? I need to get back to—”

“Yeah, there’s more.”

Ah, fuck, maybe I am fired after all. I shut my mouth and lower my eyes to my hands. Fuck, I can’t lose this job.

“Shit, Mel, I’m sorry. Today’s just totally fucked-up. I’ll get my act together. Please don’t—”

“—fuckin’ fire you?” When I look back up at her, her head’s cocked sideways a bit, and her scowl’s been replaced by another of those concerned looks. “I’m not going to fire you, Coop. Fuck, I couldn’t run this place without you. But I’m...starting to get worried about you. What the fuck’s going on?”

What the fuck, indeed. Where do I start? I could tell her everything, and she’d probably sit here and listen. I could tell her the love of my life came back to me after nearly ten years. I could tell her how he made me these huge promises, how I gave him my heart, and then how he just... walked out the door. I could tell her I’ve been trying to let myself believe his words, believe him when he said he’ll be back.

I could tell her all of that.

But all I can feel is the intense, stabbing pain of uncertainty in my chest. And suddenly, I really don’t want to tell anyone anything at all. Even Mel.

God, my heart fucking hurts.

I let out a short breath and lower my eyes again. “It’s nothing, Mel. I’m just fine.”

“Fuck, kiddo, you don’t have to lie to me. In fact, when the fuck have you ever lied to me?” Yeah, I don’t think I have. I close my eyes as she continues. “I know this isn’t nothing, and I know you’re not fine... And that’s okay. It’s okay to not be fine. Fuck, I’m not fine right now either. But I do need you to pull it together, or I’m gonna have to send your ass home early, and I really don’t want to have to do that.”

I feel small and maybe a little sick to my stomach. She’s right. She’s fucking right. I’m not fine. But I also cannot let her send me home, which means I do have to pull myself together. Fuck.

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