Page 82 of Tell Me Again

I break the kiss, and I’m still trembling. Even my breath shudders. “You—you can’t go, Josh. Please. Please don’t leave.”

He shakes his head, and his voice is low but insistent. “I’m not leaving you. I’m not. I wouldn’t. I just have to take Brenna home. I have to—she’s not okay, and it’s my fault. Dammit, this is all my fault. I’m so sorry. Coop, please believe me. I will be back. I promise. I will be back, and—”

The kitchen door opens, and there’s this rush of warm air that does nothing to warm me. I straighten up and back up a step, remembering where we’re at. Josh’s hands drop away from my face, and I hear him blow out a short breath as my eyes jump to where Clara’s standing in the doorway. She’s frowning slightly and looking at me with concern. I paste a smile on my face.

“Table five’s order?”

She nods. “Yeah. Just finished.”

“I’ll be right there. Thanks, Clara.”

Fuck.

She disappears back into the kitchen, and I try not to, but my gaze flickers quickly around the dining room. It’s too quiet in here. Like everyone’s been listening in.

“I have to go.” Shit. I can’t do this. “Do you—do you have my house key?” I ask, and I can’t even look up at him, but I think he nods.

“Y-yeah. Um...” He pulls the key out of his pocket, and when he hands it to me, I can see he’s shaking.

“Thanks.” I’m not sure what else to say, and I’m not sure what to do. Except I suddenly feel a very strong wave of something very unpleasant, and I know I absolutely need to get back to work now. I stuff the key into my pocket, and this time, when I turn to head back into the kitchen, he doesn’t stop me.

Chapter Thirty

Josh

The cold hits me when I step outside the diner. It matches the chill that seems to have seeped into my bones already, right about when I’d seen Coop’s face go pale as I’d told him I had to leave.

It hurts so much. I’d been worried about his reaction, but I hadn’t expected him to get quite that upset. I probably should have expected it. But I hadn’t.

I close my eyes for a moment, wishing I didn’t have to go. But then I glance toward Brenna’s car, parked just a few spots down. She’s sitting in the passenger seat, staring blankly out the window, sort of in my direction but sort of not. And I can see the tear stains on her cheeks, even from here. I don’t have a choice. I have to go. My stomach feels sick.

She blinks, and her eyes finally meet mine. There’s something of a silent question in her expression. Only I really don’t want to tell her how badly all that went in the diner, so I try to smile. With how well she knows me, she’ll definitely see right through it. But I hope she’ll also see that I’m not ready to talk about it.

More importantly, I just really, really don’t want her feeling guilty at all for needing me to take her home.

It’s all screwed up enough already without adding in more upset feelings.

I take a deep breath, but the frigid air seems to burn my lungs, and it’s not soothing or comforting like I’d wanted. Then I jog down the row of cars and climb in, taking my place in the driver’s seat. Brenna stays quiet as I put my seat belt on and start the car, but before I can shift into reverse, she reaches over and sets her hand on my thigh.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” she says.

I shake my head. “No, don’t be. I just...”

How do I tell her I think I just broke Coop’s heart? That it’s still all my fault, and she shouldn’t be apologizing? How do I tell her I’m scared I might have just ruined the amazing thing Coop and I had just found again? That I didn’t even really get to explain myself because as soon as he even heard me say I have to leave, all the light left his eyes?

I need to make sure he knows why I’m leaving and that I’m coming back. I’d tried to explain, but I’m not sure the words came out right or that he really heard me. And I’m not entirely sure he even believes me anyway.

My chest tightens, and I lower my head into my hands for a moment and take another deep breath. “D-do you know, um, if there’s a florist in town? I think I need to make a quick stop before we leave.”

When I glance over at Brenna, she’s nodding, and she pulls out her phone. A moment later, she lifts the phone to show me her screen.

“White Hills Florist. Opened at ten, just a few minutes ago. They’re just down the road, near the hospital,” she says.

“Do you mind? I know you want to leave now, but I really need to do this first. It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.”

She shakes her head and puts her phone back in her pocket. “It’s fine. And I’m sorry.”

I hate that she apologizes again. This isn’t her fault. But I have to do this. I have to do everything I can to make sure Coop knows I’m serious. I will not be leaving him again. God.

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