Page 76 of Tell Me Again

“Stay?”

“Tonight. Don’t leave. Stay here, with me.”

Coop curls up against me as I settle back in his bed after a quick shower. He reaches one arm around my abdomen and lets his head rest against my shoulder. His hair’s still damp from the shower he took just before me, and he’s so warm. I wrap my arm around him and kiss the top of his head.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll stay.”

He doesn’t respond, but he lets out a long breath. I can almost feel him shudder as he seems to cling to me. And I understand. This is all so much better than I’d ever imagined—all of this and everything we’ve done today, everything we’ve done together.

“I’m so grateful for you,” I whisper into his hair, and I hold him tighter, kiss him again. “I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t let me have this chance. And you didn’t have to. I didn’t expect you to. After—after what I did to you. I...”

He shudders again and then turns his head slightly to kiss my neck. God, I love when he does that. I could stay here forever, just like this. Him in my arms, sharing moments like this. Some little moan escapes me, and I feel the hot puff of his breath against my skin.

“I missed you so much,” he murmurs. His hand caresses slowly back and forth, low across my stomach now. “I missed my best friend. But seeing you last week... was really rough. I wasn’t sure what to do. And when you asked to hang out, I almost said no...”

My stomach lurches at the thought, but I remember the moment when I’d approached him in the parking lot at that gas station store. He’d been tense and on edge, and I’d taken a huge chance even asking him.

“I’m really glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.” He tenses just a little, and when he speaks again, his voice is hesitant and low. “But, um... what now?”

“What do you mean?”

He’s quiet for a second, and he shifts slightly, his hand stopping over the middle of my abdomen. “Uh, yeah, never mind. It’s late, and—”

“Coop?”

He sighs and buries his head in my shoulder. “Tomorrow... What happens tomorrow? And the day after? And next week? You’re here tonight. Will you... be here tomorrow night?”

There’s so much uncertainty in his voice, and it’s the same uncertainty as when he’d asked me earlier what all this meant to me.

It’s understandable. I’d left him before. We were just kids then, and it’s different this time. I think he knows that. But I’m sure it’s not easy to just ignore everything that happened in the past. I reach up and cup his cheek with my free hand, and he tilts his head back a little to look at me. The uncertainty in his voice is also clear in his eyes. But there’s hope there too. Hope and love. And it’s so much. It reminds me of the big picture. My big-picture answer to his question: forever. I want forever, and I’ll be here forever, if he’ll have me.

I brush a light kiss on his lips and then tighten my arm around his shoulders. “I don’t know what happens tomorrow,” I admit, and he closes his eyes and nods weakly. “But”—I kiss his forehead and let my hand drift down from his neck to rest in the middle of his chest—“I do know that whatever it is, it’s going to involve me showing you, again and again and again if needed, just how much I love you and just how much I want to be with you. I’m still... figuring all this out too. Figuring out what exactly all of this means and how we move forward. But the one thing I know for sure is that the only way forward is together. You and me.”

A weak smile plays on his lips, and I’ve got a sudden urge to kiss him. He seems to have the same idea, and we meet halfway. It’s a soft, sweet kiss, and when we part, he’s still smiling.

He reaches up and touches my cheek. “I-I . . . I love you.”

God, that’s the first time he’s actually said those words.

For a moment, I can’t quite breathe as my heart stutters in my chest. I shift so that I can wrap both of my arms around him, and I pull him tight against me and lean in to rest my forehead against his.

“I love you, too. So much.”

We’re both quiet for a minute. Then, we resettle in that position that’s just so comfortable—him curled up against me with his head on my shoulder.

“Thank you for staying,” he says, his voice so low I can barely hear him.

I swallow back the lump in my throat and close my eyes. I want to tell him I’ll never leave. I want to make all the promises floating around in my heart right now. Forever and always and everything. But my words won’t work, and so I just kiss the top of his head again.

Words may not be enough anyway. At least, not words alone. I’ll have to show him. I’ll have to spend the whole rest of my life showing him. And I’m ready to do just that.

***

It’s still dark when I feel myself wake out of a haze of pleasant dreams. I’m not sure when we shifted during the night, but I’m now lying on my side, and his back is pressed up against my chest. My arm is around his waist, and I can feel his warmth. It’s comforting in some way that’s just so different. So perfect.

Carefully, because I don’t want to wake him, I prop myself up and glance at the nightstand, where both of our phones sit. It’s just ten minutes until 5:00 a.m., when I know his alarm is set to go off. I close my eyes and settle back down next to him, letting his warmth seep into me.

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