Page 55 of Tell Me Again

When I glance at him, he’s got a silly grin on his face, and his eyes are just fucking sparkling. I can’t help but smile back.

“Ah, yeah, probably not.”

“Good. Because I actually do bowl on occasion, and I’m not terrible. So maybe I’ll stand a chance.”

He reaches out ahead of us to open the door, which I’d totally meant to do. And given the way he holds it open, watching me and still grinning... shit, it almost feels like he’d distracted me on purpose. Nah, he wouldn’t. Would he? I’m not really sure.

We’re still so close that I can barely stop myself from touching him again. I want to take his hand, touch his cheek, kiss his lips.

God, his lips. They look so kissable, and I’ve spent hours since he left yesterday letting myself remember just how kissable and soft and warm they are. And I’m suddenly much too hot.

Somehow, I manage to walk into the building past him, keeping my hands and lips to myself. But I’m just not sure what I’m allowed to do here and what I’m not. Don’t they make some sort of rule book for things like this? Something like: First Dates for Mid-Twenty-Somethings Who Have No Idea What the Fuck They’re Doing 101. Gay Version.

Or, you know, I could just ask him.

He closes the door behind us, and we start walking together over toward the counter. I don’t see Tim, who owns the bowling alley, so now’s as good a time as ever. I clear my throat and glance sideways at Josh with a small smile.

“So, um, what—”

“Hey, Coop! Long time no see!” Tim’s loud, boisterous voice cuts me off, and he steps out of his office, grinning, as he moves toward the cash register.

Shit. In a minute, I guess. I’ll ask Josh then. I paste a smile on my face.

“Hey, Tim. Yeah, been busy. You know how it is,” I say as I stuff my hands in my pockets and try to look anywhere besides at Josh. Because it’s at that moment that I remember something else that’s really pretty fucking important. I’m completely broke, and bowling costs money. Fuck.

Yet another reason I need that rule book. Who the fuck pays? Do we split it? And can I even afford half? Score another point for me.

Tim’s still smiling, oblivious to my internal self-disparaging. That’s good, I guess?

“Yep! Busy as always! Nice to see you, though. So, you two here to bowl, or something else?” Tim glances from me to Josh and extends his hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Tim.”

Josh steps up next to me and reaches out to shake Tim’s hand. “Josh. Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Ah, please, call me Tim. ‘Sir’ makes me feel old. Although beings as the two of you can’t be more than what, twenty-five? I suppose I am old. Ah, damn. Well, what’ll it be, kids?”

Josh laughs and then completely saves me and my idiot ass. “I think we’ll rent a lane for a couple of hours. That sound good, man?” He looks over at me, and his smile almost immediately softens or... something.

And I smile back because it makes me feel good. “Yeah, that’s good.”

With a nod, he turns back to Tim and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket. “Yeah, a lane rental for two hours, plus shoes for both of us, and, hmm...”

Five minutes later, we’ve got our bowling shoes and Cokes, and Josh also ordered a pizza that should be out in another fifteen minutes or so. We head down to our lane in silence, but by the time we get there, I think maybe I’ve mustered up the courage to try talking to him again.

“I, uh, should probably just apologize now because I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here,” I say quietly as I set my drink down on the table and drop my shoes on the ground next to one of the seats. When I glance back at Josh, his eyes are narrowed a bit in confusion.

“You mean . . . ?”

“Uh, this—this date? I haven’t exactly done this before, and—”

“Oh,” he says, and his cheeks turn bright red. Ah, fuck, why does he have to be so fucking adorable when he blushes?

“I feel like I should have asked you about money beforehand, that is. And I’ve wanted to kiss you since you got out of your car, but I don’t know if that’s okay. Or if I can hold your hand, or if...” I trail off as he sets his drink and shoes down and then sits and stares at his hands. I wonder what he’s thinking, especially when he closes his eyes for a moment and his jaw tightens.

But then a small smile flickers on his lips, and his voice is soft as he mumbles, “Or... if you can sit next to me so I can lean on you for a minute because I don’t really know the answers, but I just really want to feel you touch me.” He wrings his hands together almost nervously before he lifts his gaze back up to meet mine. His eyes are deep and unsure but also hopeful, and I think I could get lost in them.

I nod eagerly, and then my body moves as though it couldn’t wait any longer. I take the seat right next to him and slip my arm up and around his shoulders as he leans against me. His head comes to rest on my shoulder, and he settles his hand on my thigh, which—holy fuck—sends this intense wave of desire through me. My heart’s pounding now too.

“It’s, uh, better now, yeah?” he asks.

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