Page 39 of Tell Me Again

Holy fuck.

Before I even get the chance to turn around, I can feel that Josh is about to lose his shit. It’s this energy that I’ve felt before—a mix of fear and guilt—and it’s heavy and close to panic.

“Hey,” I say quietly as I turn around. “You okay, man?” And what the fuck was that all about? Yeah, that’s a question for later, I guess.

He just shakes his head as he shrugs his coat on. “S-sorry, Coop. I’m sorry, I-I-I didn’t know he’d be here, and I just—sorry. I’ll just leave. Shit. Where’s my...?”

He’s rifling through his pockets now, but his hands are shaking, and he’s pale and looks small and fucking terrified.

“What are you looking for? Your keys?”

He nods, his mouth set in a tight frown now. “Y-yeah. Y-yeah, my keys. I’m sorry, I’m trying to leave. I—where the hell are they?”

“Hey, it’s alright. We’ll find them, okay?”

This time he doesn’t respond, but he looks up over my shoulder toward where Dr. Richards is probably sitting now with the rest of the board of directors, and his face pales again as he seems to recoil a step. I happen to glance down at the same moment and see the glint of a key fob on the floor under the stool where he’d been sitting.

“Ah-ha, there we are,” I say, trying to inject some cheerfulness into my voice.

“Huh?”

I stoop down to pick up the keys and then grin at him as I straighten again. “See, found ’em!”

There’s relief in his eyes, and he forces a bit of a smile. “Th-thanks. Thanks, man. I-I’ll just get going,” he says, reaching for the keys. “Sorry—sorry for, uh... I just hadn’t eaten yet, and I thought I’d... Yeah, sorry.”

God, he’s still shaking, and I shouldn’t let him drive like this. But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Shit.

My hand closes around the keys just before he can take them from me. “Sit and let me get you something to eat. Just stay a few minutes and calm down, okay? He’s not—”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Angry dad coming at him. Of course he’d be fucking terrified. Shit, I’m slow on the uptake today.

I shake my head, and he’s looking at me with this plea in his eyes to just let him get the fuck out of here. But instead, I stuff his keys in my pocket and then reach up and gently grasp his arm—and holy fucking god, I’m ignoring all my own feelings right now, because dammit, there’s something going on in my chest the second I touch him. But not now. Not now. Not now.

Fuck.

“You really shouldn’t drive right now,” I say quietly, and I’m incredibly relieved—and also much too distracted still—when he doesn’t protest. He follows as I start to lead him toward the kitchen. God, I can feel his muscles, even through his jacket and—shit. Not now. Not fucking now. I clear my throat roughly. “We’ve got an empty office in the back. You can hang out there for a bit and have something to eat. They’ll be leaving maybe in about fifteen minutes or so. Alright, man?”

We’re in the kitchen now, and Mel’s making a pie or something. She gives me a look but doesn’t say anything. And I’m grateful for it.

Josh is silent too, although he keeps following me, and a moment later, I open up the door to the extra office, which was once upon a time occupied by Mel’s business partner, from what I understand. That was before my time here. Now, it’s mostly storage. But there’s a desk and a chair, and it’s not too dusty.

I switch the light on and stop, and Josh stops with me. I’m reluctant to let him go—I won’t admit just how much—but I convince myself to drop my hand from his arm as I motion to the desk.

“Here we go. It’ll be quiet in here. And I’ll grab you something to eat, yeah?”

“Coop, I-I... Um, yeah, sure, thanks. Sorry, I—”

“Hey, he’s the one who lost his shit. You were just sitting there. It’s alright. And you’re safe here, okay?”

My hand is already on its way up to set on his shoulder, strictly for reassurance, of course. But I stop myself as he flinches away, shaking his head. He seems about to say something, but whatever it is, it’s interrupted by Mel, who calls me from out in the kitchen.

“Coop! We got another customer. Table nine,” she says. Her voice is gruff but... also not, and that’s curious enough in itself. Later though. I’ll talk to her later.

Josh steps toward the desk and then looks at me. He’s still pale, and if I had to guess, I’d bet his hands are still shaking. But he manages a small smile.

“Thanks, man. I’ll just...” He motions over to the desk, and I nod.

---