Page 8 of Not Ready

Only, he was gone when I woke up. I mistakenly thought we’d exchange contact information the next morning. Or, you know, that maybe he’d pop back in at The Kitty Cat Lounge the next day with a really good excuse as to why he had to leave in the first place.

My head shakes violently as my forehead rolls around the steering wheel.

I got played. It happens.

If nothing else, I figured he’d come back to the club at some point, just because he’d been a frequent customer up until our hookup.

In my fantasies, Cooper would see that I’m pregnant, grovel and apologize, and actually want to be in Aurora’s life.

It was hard, but I’ve let go of that unrealistic expectation.

I’ve gaslit myself into believing that I made something out of nothing, but I’m still so confused. Why would he come in week after week and sit in my section? Why spend so much time talking and trying to get to know me if he was just going to disappear?

My chest rises and falls rapidly as I try to get myself together.

Stress isn’t good for me or the baby.

By the time I found out I was pregnant, I realized he wasn’t going to magically pop back into my life. I knew I was going to be doing this alone from the moment I decided to keep the pregnancy, and I did think long and hard about having an abortion.

At the end of the day, I just couldn’t go through with it.

It still hurts to think of Cooper, but I have bigger problems. Outside of Bishop, Cooper is the one guy who actually put in effort and seemed interested in me…

What if I’ve convinced myself Bishop cares, but he’s just a really good guy who would look after any woman in a scary situation?

I’m emotionally attached to Bishop in a way I wasn’t to Cooper.

That makes this even more dangerous to my heart.

Not to mention, it’s a completely unfamiliar environment. Putting my trust in the wrong person could have devastating consequences.

A loud, echoing banging on my window makes me jolt. My head pops up, and there are two men standing just next to my car. I grab my purse and open the door. Dammit, I’ve had to pee for the last hour. Scaring a pregnant lady is a great way to cause an accident.

The chilly temperature sends a shiver down my spine, but my coat is too small to zip over the belly. It’s not a pretty process as I climb out of the driver’s seat, but I get it done.

“Can we help you, ma’am?” the guy on the left asks, eyeing my stomach uncomfortably.

My nose aches in the cool air, but I pull my shoulders back. “I’m looking for Bishop?”

“Uh, does he know you’re coming?” the other guy asks.

“Yes,” I reply, trying to yank the sides of my coat together.

“We haven’t been notified of that,” the one on the left says.

“What should we do?” the one on the right asks.

I’m starting to get antsy.

This isn’t a house.

I’m pretty sure it’s a military compound or something. These guys look around my age or maybe a few years older, but they’ve got a vibe that screams they’ve been in the service.

“You know what?” I toss a thumb back toward my car as I back away. “I’m just going to go.”

“Ma’am, don’t move,” the guy on the right says. “If you’re on Assurance property, then we need to verify your identity.”

“No, really. I definitely think I’m just going to get in my car and leave,” I say, taking another step back.

---