Page 87 of Not Ready

I spin around, taking it all in. It’s incredible. I release Mercy to head over to check out the furniture.

“You picked a solid set,” Holt says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “The guys were bitching nonstop about how heavy it was getting it up the stairs.”

“Holt,” Bishop growls.

“We didn’t want it brought up until the paint dried,” Mercy says. “There’s more in the closet.”

It’s on the right wall, just past the tall dresser. I head over, open the door, and pat around for the light. My shoulder falls against the doorframe as my head shakes.

Holy shit.

There’s a stroller still in the box on the back wall with a name I recognize—and only because I’ve seen it on social media. It’s one of those brands that normal people don’t even consider because it costs as much as the average person’s rent. Next to it is a newborn car seat from the same brand. The wall on the right has two crib mattresses.

“Why two?” I choke out. “I’m only having one baby.”

“One is a breathable version. She said they’re relatively new but come highly recommended. The other is the standard version. You were speaking to Kate when I finalized the order. I didn’t know if you had a preference,” Mercy says, appearing at my side.

“So, you just bought both?” I ask incredulously.

“Now we have a spare.” He slides behind me and nuzzles his cheek to mine.

Something about the word we makes the tears that have been burning my eyes actually fall.

God, it’s been so hard trying to stay positive and trudge along completely on my own.

It’s been lonely and a little scary, but I’m an adult without a support system. I haven’t had anyone I could turn to for help, so I just kept going and praying it would get easier.

Or that I would get stronger.

I think that’s the hard part about being a first-time mom. You can be absolutely terrified while still being excited on a level that can’t be matched.

All while wondering if you’re going to screw everything up and praying that you won’t.

I really miss my mom at times like these.

One day, she was driving to work, and the next day, she was gone. I try really hard not to think about how I lost her so quickly. It left me fearful of what would happen to Aurora if something unexpected happened to me.

The level of relief that just washed over me knowing that Bishop, and likely Mercer too, would be around to take care of her…

I don’t have words to describe it.

A sob escapes.

I turn around, burying my face in Mercy’s chest. He immediately wraps his arms around me, holding me tight as my fingers dig into his back.

“Mercy,” Holt growls. “You went overboard. It was too much.”

“She’s okay,” Bishop replies.

“Thank you. It’s lovely. I love it,” I assure them, sniffling.

“See, she’s just a little overwhelmed.” Bishop sends reassurance and steady comfort in the bond.

“So, you like it?” Holt asks, scratching his fuzzy jaw.

“I really do.” I smile at him, and he nods.

I stretch up, giving Mercy a quick kiss before heading to Bishop. My giant alpha lifts me with ease, nuzzling his cheek to mine.

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